The thoughts of a writer.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Key Cutris Staffer Revealed

A key Cutris campaign staffer was revealed today. Peach, or Peetch, is a key component in the Cutris campaign.

Shown here with Cutris, Peach handles updates and UnAssociated Press releases during weekdays, when Cutris is working his regular job. Since Cutris has several jobs, Peach is an important part of this campaign.
"He's a fine drummer too!" said Cutris, who has been in a band with Pete and Dave for over a decade.

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Sunday, January 27, 2008

Stone Shack

Since the first mention of Kevin's shack, to the creation of Shack & Pasture Magazine, Cutris has always loved touring shacks all over the country.

Here is a picture of Cutris in the doorway of a lovely stone shack from the 1800's.
"It's a bit small and needs a little fixing up," said Cutris, "but it is still a nice shack, from an era when shacks were built with pride."

Figure Skating

Not much was on TV last night, and my fiancée wanted to watch figure skating. It was pretty boring for me, on account of me being a man. I think maybe because there was no checking or puck and the guys talking about what was going on seemed like they had masculinity issues. I had no point of reference. I was pretty lost and bored. I did think the "triple-klutz" was pretty impressive though.
It's a good thing she likes football too...

Friday, January 25, 2008

Federal Rebate

I have mixed feelings regarding the federal rebate program. As a way to "jump-start" the economy, I feel that it might cost us all money, since it will add to the national debt, and the American tax payers are ultimately responsible for paying that off. Will tax payers be required to claim the rebate as income on their 2008 tax returns?

Of course it will be nice to receive a check, but instead of paying for a huge program to figure out who gets how much, and then cut checks for everyone, wouldn't a tax break be more financially responsible?

Unemployment benefits are not going to be extended, and too many people are out of work. Thanks to Reaganomics, they also have to pay taxes on their unemployment benefits. Of course, as long as health coverage is the responsibility of employers, the job situation is likely to get worse. National health care could do a lot to stimulate more jobs, but it isn't likely to happen anytime soon.

-Cutris

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Cutris Under Attack

Cutris Under Attack
January 25, 2008
UnAssociated Press

As with any political campaign that is gaining strength, the Cutris campaign and it's primary mouthpiece, the i am cutis blog is under attack. Those who are worried about the campaign are trying to destroy Cutris' reputation and shutdown the blog.

A publicist representing Cutris put a positive spin on it Thursday night. "This controversy, if brought out in the open could be exactly what this campaign needs," he said. "The public loves a good David vs. Goliath story, especially if they can relate to the people involved."

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Thursday, January 24, 2008

Blog Interest

I want to thank those who have taken such an interest in my blog recently. It's nice to know that you take the time to see what I'm up to. This blog started out in 2005, as a way to showcase my writing. My new novel "Cottonwood" is finished, and I am currently trying to market it.

Along the way, this blog has been teaching me valuable skills in webpage design. I'm not an HTML expert by any means, but this experience has certainly increased my knowledge significantly.

I've also become aware that certain parties can use your blog against you if you aren't careful. I generally won't write anything that I would be embarrassed to have my parents read. I also "Sanitize," or change names and information to keep others anonymous. Still, despite being protected by the first amendment of the United States Constitution, blogging is a risky venture at times. Employers and others have a habit of finding things wrong with blogging. Just the same, there are some enlightened companies that actually embrace blogging, and even dedicate server space to it.

I did some research, and many people have gotten in some kind of trouble for having the wrong things seen by the wrong people. As this is still "new" territory, the legal system will slowly sort out our rights. In the meantime, if you are a blogger, blog wisely!

-13

This morning the temperature was -13 degrees Fahrenheit (-25 Celsius). I live just south of Minneapolis. Up in the northern part of the state it is closer to -30.

People who don't live in cold climates don't understand how we "can stand it!"
Personally, I have a hard time with extremely hot temperatures. Even if it might be "too cold" to go outside (on some winter days), in some places it is too hot to go outside in the summer.

People in northern climates, such as Minnesota, enjoy winter sports like, skating, hockey, skiing, sledding, ice fishing, snowshoeing, snowmobiling, and my personal favorite, hiking.

I lived for a short time in Providence, RI. Never before did I hear people complain about the weather so much as I did out east. An inch (2.54 centimeters) of snow crippled the city. The airport closed and citizens stocked up on bread and pasta. In Minnesota, after a foot of snow, we shovel out and go to work. Out east they think 20 degrees is cold. In the Twin Cities, we think single digits or below zero is cold, but we put on a warm coat and go about our business. Actually, out east, I was miserable all summer because of the heat and humidity.

The weather reports indicate a warm up this weekend to about freezing (32˚F). I'm looking forward to a nice, balmy hike in the woods!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Cutris may have found Running-Mate!

Cutris may have found Running-Mate!
January 22, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Cutris may have found his vice-presidential running-mate. After pouring through numerous applications and correspondence, it appears that the front runner is Congressman Bruno Bear, who is an independent from the state of Alaska.

"I like Bruno very much," Cutris said in an interview Tuesday morning. "I think he has the kind of no-nonsense strength and courage necessary to make some of the changes that are needed to rebuild America."

Congressman Bear is well known for his staunch support of environmental initiatives, which seems to sit well with Cutris. While an official announcement has not been made and Cutris insists that he is still actively searching, inside sources say that Congressman Bear is the only candidate that stands out so far.

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Friday, January 18, 2008

CUTRIS FOR PRESIDENT!

It's time to leave the Bush. Dicks with ties to oil and Halliburton, are making lots of money. Meanwhile, people are dying in overseas wars. The average American people are losing money, jobs and their homes. World opinion of the United States is low. The value of the dollar is low. The country is in debt and foreign interests are buying our land and companies. The Dicks and Bushes aren't smart enough to see that when the majority falls, their foundations will collapse. They only care about lining their pockets with profits. Yes, it's time to leave the Bush.


So what's next? Do you want to vote for a white-haired Bush clone? Do you want more Republican policies that line the pockets of the rich at the expense of the general population? Do you want a Democrat that is defined by the color of his skin or by the type of genitals she has? Is the party progressive, or missing the point altogether?
Our country's history is both bloody and incomplete. The story of those who persecuted and those who were persecuted, has been defined in history in black & white terms. This is perhaps easy for a child to understand, but are we a country of children?
Oppression is more about who was born into money. Their prime objective is to retain and increase their wealth. This is often at the expense of the country and the citizens. These same monied people, are our leaders. They are the group who we select our leaders from. The system is designed to prevent anyone from becoming president, unless that person has access to millions of dollars.
That's why Cutris is different. That's why Americans have to unite and use the "write-in" feature that is built into our election process. The rich don't think it will ever work. They don't even believe that an Independent candidate can win.

It's time to break our dependence on

foreign oil.

It's time to end military campaigns for oil.

It's time to live peacefully, and

if necessary, fight our true enemies.

It's time to take care of our own people and

our natural environment.

It's time to VOTE FOR CUTRIS!

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Bush Snuggles with Saudis

Bush Snuggles with Saudis
January 16, 2008
UnAssociated Press

President George W. Bush was in Saudi Arabia today, pleading with self-made "royalty" to lower prices on oil exports to the USA. Bush also held hands with a prince, and was seen kissing a man.





"He let me play with his sword!" an excited Bush said afterward.

Cloverfield -prescreen

I went to a pre-screening of the movie Cloverfield last evening. Since I saw it before most people, I thought I would review it for you.

I thought the beginning was tedious. When the action finally started, I was dizzy from the continuous bouncing of the single camera it was witnessed through. No details were revealed, since the attack was recorded by some half-wit, who decided to carry a camera with a never ending battery and tape while he was running all over Manhattan away from monsters.

I heard a few people on the way out, who thought it was "so real," due to the amature camera look -which has been done in The Blair Witch Project, and masterfully done in 84 Charlie Mopic.

Don't get too attached to the characters in this movie, as it reads like a snuff novel. All in all, it might be worth renting the video, but I would feel ripped-off if I paid full theater prices.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Box Elder Bug Finds Freedom

Many of us have had the unpleasant experience of Box Elder Bugs or Asian Lady Bugs infesting the cracks and crevices of our homes or workplace in the late fall when the weather gets cool. Looking for a place to come in from the cold, thousands of these insects can swarm in through the tiniest cracks or openings.

In January here in Minnesota, it is fairly uncommon for insects such as these to still be plaguing us. At work, however, I still see the occasional Box Elder Bug flying across the room or landing on my computer screen. On Sunday, I found one in my house!

Now I could have "dispatched" this little insect, by crushing it, or flushing it down the toilet. For some reason, however, I took pity on the little guy. Why my sudden change of heart regarding this particular pest, I don't know.

Instead of killing it, I caught the little guy and brought it to my deck door and tossed it out onto the deck. The bug seemed to enjoy its new-found freedom, as I reintroduced it to its natural (outdoor) habitat.

As it walked slowly across the deck boards in its outdoor environment, the bug began walking slower and slower in the 20 degree Fahrenheit (-6.67 Celsius) temperature. Obviously it was enjoying the fresh air. Soon, it stopped walking and lay sprawled out on the deck, enjoying its freedom; too intoxicated by joy to continue moving.

Several hours later, it was still relaxing on the deck. In fact, the bug had not moved at all for the whole day! I went outside and kicked it over the edge of the deck. I mean, come on, how lazy can you get?

Monday, January 14, 2008

Trees Endorse "Conglomo-racial" Candidate

Trees Endorse "Conglomo-racial" Candidate
January 14, 2008
UnAssociated Press

While Barack Obama is attacking Hillary Clinton over her attack on him by attacking Martin Luther King Jr's legacy, conglomo-racial presidential candidate Cutris, has gotten the endorsement of trees.

Cutris said he recognizes both Martin Luther King Jr's contributions to Civil Rights, as well as the fact that President Lyndon B. Johnson signed the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Apparently trees everywhere were impressed by the announcement, as they too are trying to achieve equality in a world wrought with clear-cutting and wholesale tree destruction. Cutris then told a national audience that his great great great great grandfather was half tree, and he can sympathize with their plight.

Cutris also claims to be half of all 961 million races, including being half Brown Bear and three-quarters Bald Eagle.

http://wcco.com/national/race.obama.clinton.2.629026.html

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Sunday, January 13, 2008

Central Wilkie

Today we hiked Central Wilkie. We saw Bald Eagles and White-tailed Deer. We also saw an old silo foundation. Here are some pictures.




Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Presidential Candidate Pictured with Ghosts!

Presidential Candidate Pictured with Ghosts!
January 9, 2008
UnAssociated Press

Yesterday's picture of Presidential Candidate Cutris, had a mysterious apparition in the lower left portion of the photograph. Some surmised that supernatural powers are behind the huge rise in Cutris' popularity. These forces may even have been at work on Oprah, when she decided to endorse Cutris for president in 2008.

Further studies of past Cutris photographs, have revealed that ghostly apparitions have appeared in other pictures of Cutris. Paranormal experts have been consulted to explain this strange phenomena, but have yet to come to any concrete conclusions.

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Oprah Backs Cutris


Oprah Backs Cutris
January 8, 2008

In a surprise move today, Oprah Winfrey rescinded her endorsement of Barack Obama, and threw it firmly behind Independent Presidential Candidate, Cutris.

Since Oprah's endorsement, Cutris has gone up 816.38 pts. in the latest Shack & Pasture Magazine straw poll.

Using Things the Wrong Way is...

As street culture seems to be popular with teenagers these days, so is the trend of using and wearing things in a way contrary to how they were designed to be used. Functionality isn't important here. Appearance is what matters. Older people (i.e. those over 20 years old); will not be able to fully understand, just as those who haven't bought into street culture will not understand why crime, drug use, having illegitimate children and killing someone could make you "important."

Regarding the phenomena of using things "the wrong way," I will touch on a few.
Originally called a "Rally Cap," wearing your baseball cap inside out, upside-down and/or sideways, was a way to encourage a losing team to make a comeback late in a game. Now, it is "the style," as dictated by street culture.

Wearing your pants so that the crotch is below your knees, your butt and/or underwear sticks out, or you have to walk around holding them up because of their excessive bagginess, originally came from prison pants. Yes, the one-size-fits-all "stylish" prison apparel is now the style of any "good" street thug.






Shooting your gun sideways or upside-down obviously does nothing for marksmanship or accuracy, yet it is the preferred method of "gangstas" everywhere. This might explain why they rarely hit their intended target, and frequently kill or maim innocent people instead.

I should also mention the misuse of the English language. Using "ax," instead of the word "ask," is a leftover from ghetto Italian. If you don't believe me, listen carefully to Joe Pechi, next time you watch a movie of him portraying an Italian gangster from "New York Jersey..."
People... an "ax" is used by lumberjacks.

So, this street culture phenomena, is not even creative, so much as it has borrowed the most idiotic ideas available, and turned them "mainstream."
If you want to be an individual, go get a tattoo... oh.. yeah... I guess everyone is doing that...
That should be really "beautiful" in the nursing home someday, when it looks like a disease.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Cutris Searches for Running-Mate for Presidential Election


Presidential candidate Cutris, is currently searching for a suitable running-mate in his bid for the White House in 2008. Interested persons should forward their resume and introductory letter to Cutris.

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Friday, January 04, 2008

Converting my paper transcript to an electronic pdf

I needed to send a college transcript for a job I applied for. I thought I would need to mail it, though there is a place to upload on the employer's website. The University has a way to access transcripts electronically, but apparently if you are "ancient" like me, they don't offer the service. So, I used the scanner here at work to scan a paper copy of my transcript. Then I saved it as .doc, even though I thought a .pdf file would be best. I found no way to convert using Adobe or any other program that I have here. I even accessed the online help and it only talked about Mac. So, I used Metacrawler to search for "convert .doc to .pdf" and found a free conversion on the WWW. So, I have now uploaded a pdf file of my transcript to the prospective employer. Whew!

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Iowa Caucus 2008

With the Democratic and Republican presidential candidates all in Iowa, people are beginning to ask, "where is (Independent) presidential candidate Cutris?

The answer... Cutris is at work fixing computer technology. Cutris does not take off for such things as caucuses.

"Caucuses are for wussies," Cutris said when asked if he was interested in the goings on in Iowa. "I have real work to do, just like what I will do when I win the presidential election in November. Bush and Cheney have crapped things up so bad, I'll be lucky if I can get away for any 'me time' at all!"

"Caucusing is a waste of time and money. I know that's how 'you get elected,' but I have something to ask the American people. Do you want me to fix America or not? If you do, then we need to focus on a massive 'write in' campaign to get me elected. That's all there is to it! I have work to do now, I'm sorry but you'll have to leave."

Faulty Online Applications

Actually, I like online applications. You can fill one out, and use it again for another job later by making a few changes. That said, many of these "time savers" don't work the way they are supposed to. Some demand you include privileged information (like social security number), and often they don't work for whatever reason. Here is a "sanitized" correspondence I had by e-mail today regarding one of these frustrating online applications...


Subject: Attn: Regarding your online application
Date: Thu, 3 Jan 2008 08:41:21 -0600
From: Sammy.Davis@emailchangedtoohahaha!
To: Cutris
Thank you for your interest in our Job's Name position. In order to be considered for this position you will need to complete your application materials. Our records indicate that you have only partially completed the online process. Please click on the following link http://applicationsitechangedhaha and finalize your application materials. You may only need to click the submit button, attach required supplemental materials, or finish your application.
Due to the holidays, you have until Friday, January 4, 2008 at 4:00 pm to complete your application. If you do not take action prior to this date your application will not be considered. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Sammy Davis
Personnel Aide
Sammy.Davis@emailchangedtoohahaha!


From: Cutris [mailto:Cutris@Cutrismailyeahright]
Sent: Thursday, January 03, 2008 9:40 AM
To: Sammy Davis
Subject: RE: Attn: Regarding your online application
I have filled this application out completely and the online program still tells me that I have not filled out "experience." I have completed the application. Your online program will not accept it.
Cutris


Subject: RE: Attn: Regarding your online application
Date: Thu, 3 Jan 2008 10:04:20 -0600
From: Sammy.Davis@emailchangedtoohahaha!
To: Cutris@Cutrismailyeahright
Looking at your application, I see that on the Supplemental Protected Class Information page (pg 7), your name and position applied for is not filled in. But everything else looks like it is filled out. Try filling in that information and then remember to hit the submit button.
Sincerely,
Sammy Davis
Personnel Aide
Place With Faulty Online Application
Sammy.davis@emailchangedtoohahaha!
Phone: 555-555-5555
Fax: 555-555-5555


I have filled it out completely. There is no "submit button," since it won't accept that I have filled out the "experience" section. I'm sorry, but I cannot spend anymore time on this, I have work to do.
Cutris


I will make a note on your application that the system is causing you problems so the search committee is aware that you have completed everything.
Sincerely
Sammy Davis