The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

"Message in a Bottle"

Please let it all be good this time.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Cutris Flies

Cutris Flies
UnAssociated Press
September 29, 2010

The picture confirms the rumors, that Cutris has begun to fly.

Everyone knows that Cutris has flown before. But now, he doesn't even need an airplane!
According to winesses, Cutris flew off into the sunset--creating a sonic boom.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Cutris Tried Out for Spice

Cutris Tried Out for Spice
UnAssociated Press
September 23, 2010

The UnAssociated Press recently learned that in 1994, Cutris tried out for the pop singing group that would later become known as The Spice Girls.

Apparently the group was originally supposed to be five women and one man. Cutris was the finalist for the male role, but was later "bumped" out, so it could become an all girl group. That decision made by unnamed promoters, removed "Cutris Spice" from the singing group forever.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

War Cash?

I took this photo of a "car wash" sign in the dark from a distance. A little editing changed the entire meaning.
I know... it's weird huh? So what do you want from me anyway???

Monday, September 20, 2010

Funnel Your Fennel

I was discussing the difference between pizza sauce and spaghetti sauce with Pete and Dave (from the band I'm in). The spice Fennel came up. I began to wonder if you were putting Fennel seed into a jar, if you might need a funnel? I decided that this would be called, funneling your fennel. Somehow, this combination of words sounded, "pornographic." If you funnel your fennel, does that make you a fennel funneler?

Hidden Camera Fennel Funnel

Friday, September 17, 2010

An Interview with Cutris

An Interview with Cutris
UnAssociated Press
September 17, 2010

UAP - The UnAssociated Press Archives are filled with stories about you. Do you ever get sick of reading about yourself?
Cutris - No… yes… Hell yes!
UAP -Is it the way you're portrayed, or what disturbs you about it?
Cutris - No, it’s cool.
UAP - You’re often in some altercation or scandal, does that ever bother you?
Cutris - I can’t worry about crap like that.
UAP - Like what specifically?
Cutris - Huh?
UAP - Let me ask you this, what are your plans for the future?
Cutris - I’m probably going to hangout.
UAP - Are there any new adventures on the horizon? Perhaps chasing terrorists in the Middle East, or maybe going to the Moon?
Cutris - No, I’ve already done that.
UAP - Exactly! What does, Cutris do now, that he hasn’t already done before?
Cutris - I might go to the Mall.
UAP - I can see this is going nowhere… is there anything you really hate?
Cutris - No… yes… Hell yes!
UAP - Now we’re getting somewhere! What is it?
Cutris - What is what?
UAP - Ah… yes… well, I guess I’ll be going then.
Cutris - Cool! Take it easy.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Cutris Kills Fly

Cutris Kills Fly
UnAssociated Press
September 14, 2010

This photo of Cutris appeared today on the news-wire. Cutris is shown with his trophy, Green Bottle Fly. Armed with only a fly-swatter, Cutris is said to have taken the huge beast without assistance in a struggle that lasted nearly 40 minutes!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Images of St. Anthony Main

It had been awhile since I visited St. Anthony Main, so I have included a few photos I took of this scenic place in Minneapolis.

St. Anthony Main Oktoberfest Hidden Fee

Yesterday my wife and I went to the Oktoberfest at St. Anthony Main in Minneapolis. After walking around, I decided that I would have a beer--since it was Oktoberfest. There were signs everywhere that said "beer/cider = 4 tickets, wine = 5 tickets." This same sign was even at the ticket booth. However, when I went to buy my beer after purchasing 4 tickets, I discovered that an additional ticket (tickets were $1 each) was needed to get a wristband.
Feeling like I was being taken advantage of, I went back to the ticket booth and asked for my money back--since the sign clearly made no mention of the additional charge.
The man in the booth refused and said tickets were "nonrefundable." I asked him to let me speak to someone who could help me and he claimed that was him, and the tickets were nonrefundable.
Eventually, as he may have sensed that I wanted to punch him in the head, he told me to sell the tickets myself. So, I stood next to his ticket counter until I found a man looking for 4 tickets holding $4.
I have left a message with the contact section of the Oktoberfest website expressing my annoyance, and got this reply.

Thank you for taking the time to send us your feedback on the festival. I'm sorry you are diappointed in the $1 cost of the wristband fee. You are right that some festival that charge admission or don't have such extensive free programming do not charge for the wristband. We feel that $1 is a nominal fee. As a not for profit producer, we need to cover the expense of festival. All of our proceeds go to the Mpls Park Board and Mpls Riverfront Arts and Events to beautify, preserve and promote the Mpls Riverfront. I did check our website and this information is posted.

My reply was,

You are right that the information is on the website. You are wrong to assume I had access to the website on Sunday--which I did not. I saw the festival on the news. You should not explain what is obvious, and focus on why the wristband information was not on any of the signs at the festival.

Friday, September 10, 2010

The Mosque at Ground Zero and the Qur'an Burner

Perhaps this is better referred to as "Dumb and Dumber."
There is an Imam in New York City, who for some reason wants to build a mosque on "Ground Zero," where the World Trade Center was blown up. Then in Florida, there is Reverend Jones, who wants to have a mass burning of qur'ans to commemorate the anniversary of 9-1-1.

Neither idea is illegal, but neither is particularly wise. All that is likely to be accomplished by either one of these proposals, is hostility and elevated outrage and anger.

The mosque can legally be built on "Ground Zero," but it may be better for all if it were put somewhere else. Qur'ans can be burned (as can bibles, etc.), but it is not very respectful--even if it is a protected form of protest in the USA.

So why do it? Well, it appears to be getting lots of "face time" on television for the "Dumb and Dumber" people involved. Perhaps we should ignore them...

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Daily Stress

Everyone has stress in their lives. Different people stress out about different things. I once read that most adults may have some degree of Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder. This condition is most often associated with the horrors of warfare, but what about the other very real stresses that people endure over long periods of time?

My own stress comes from various different things, but my extremely negative experiences in the workplace (especially while at Hennepin County), may have made the biggest impact on me. Normally, I have an easy time falling asleep, but a bad situation that is impossible to get away from (as in a daily job in a bad economy with few jobs), can interfere with my sleep and therefore my life. What's more, I hardly think that I am alone.

Though my employment has greatly improved, certain events can trigger the feelings associated with the "contaminated workplace" I fled from years ago. Here is a hypothetical situation that could illustrate this point.

I am skilled in a particular area (such as technology). I support a workplace where others perform a different skill--which is the primary focus of our mission. My work is important, and there is much of it to do. Furthermore, I am the only member on staff who can perform this work. Yet my colleagues and managers will not follow the information guidelines as dictated by the parent company. This means that either I have to do it for each member of staff, or I can ask and re-ask for the procedure to be followed. Now suppose I tell the manager that this is "not a good use of my time," and he/she tells me that he/she will remove that decision from me and make it a priority for me.

This means that a person who is not an expert in my work, has decided for me, which of my many responsibilities is lesser or more important. Lets expand and say that while anyone on staff could process the information correctly, none of them can do the other work assigned to me.

So that would mean that I have no voice, no ability to direct my own workflow (in this instance), and no one to help do my important work while I am doing the unskilled job. I would add that I am also not allowed to disagree.

Such scenarios as this when repeated, can put unnecessary stress on the individual. It is contrary to creating a harmonious and productive workplace. The stress lies in the inability to make positive changes due to an authority figure who "pulls rank" instead of discussing solutions to the real issues.

I believe the correct method to avoid this, would be for the manager to ask me why I feel that this particular job is a poor use of my time. If I was allowed this basic courtesy, I may even be able to persuade the manager that I am correct.

Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Cutris Generates Electricity

Cutris Generates Electricity
September 7, 2010
UnAssociated Press

Apparently Cutris has begun to generate electricity. In an interview yesterday, he said that it was his attempt to be "more green."

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Be Careful What You Wish For...

"I should never have said I 'needed a hand'!"

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Forced DWI's!

This picture says,

I'm not sure it is a good idea to force people to get DWI's!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010


Where did the summer go???