Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Tyre Nichols, Police Reform, Start with Language

For Tyre Nichols to be beaten to death by police earlier this month, nearly three years after George Floyd, shows me that there is the need for police reform. The color of the officers doesn’t seem to have any bearing on these atrocities.

For starters, I would change the language. As a writer, I know how powerful words are. I can remember one night after working late, televising a meeting, being pulled over for going 5 MPH over the speed limit. The officer began swearing and yelling obscenities at me after I was found to be completely sober and with no outstanding warrants. I had clearly disappointed this officer, who dropped the “F” bomb numerous times as he cussed me out.

I stayed quiet until I was allowed to leave. But what other profession allows someone to unleash obscenities on a member of the public? It was a verbal assault. It’s just another small step from there to a physical assault.

Maintaining composure and an appropriate vocabulary is just the start to treating people humanely.

Monday, January 30, 2023

"The Santos Position"


"The Santos Position"
UnAssociated Press
January 30, 2023


The UnAssociated Press just learned that George Santos invented the Missionary Position. Prior to the 1960's it was originally called, the Santos Position.

Saturday, January 21, 2023

Movie Realism

"Ask not..."

On January 20, 1961, newly inaugurated President John F. Kennedy gave the famous quote, "And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."

62 years later, it's a sentiment that we seem to have lost.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

CuTRis Headlining Superbowl Halftime Show!


CuTRis Headlining Superbowl Halftime Show!
UnAssociated Press
January 18, 2023


CuTRis is now said to be headlining the Superbowl Halftime Show!

Rihanna Accused of Stealing Hairstyle from Whoville


Rihanna Accused of Stealing Hairstyle from Whoville
UnAssociated Press
January 18, 2023


Singer Rihanna, (shown in picture from Superbowl ad) has been accused of stealing her new hairstyle from Whoville. The residents of the ficticious Dr. Seuss town are split as to whether she should be allowed to use it.
   " I think it's cool!" said Cindy-Lou Who. "I'm okay if Rihanna uses our hairstyles."
   "Appropriation of Who Hair is unacceptable!" shouted Mayor Augustus Maywho.
So far, Rihanna has not commented on the issue.

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

Half Turkey Baked with Vegetables

The Dumbing Down of Society and Political Dysfunction

When the battle of often misdirected political correctness, meets fearmongering, the results aren't pretty. One side incites racial and political unrest, and the other points at crime and says we need more guns to protect ourselves. The division keeps on widening.

People aren't interested in creative solutions to fix problems. They are interested in being right. They don't want to discuss issues and compromise; they want it their way. They don't want others to succeed, they want to prevent the opposition from gaining power. Society has spoken, and politics has answered. And now, we're stuck, and nobody wants to see the middle ground.

United States politics is interesting in so many ways. It's also quite dysfunctional. Being I'm a political moderate, people often become upset with me. I've come to the conclusion that oftentimes they do not know how else to react. Even if I dislike the same party that they dislike, the fact that I don't like the party that they do like, makes me the enemy. Yes, in the United States, most people consider someone who likes the opposite party that they do, to be the enemy. In my case, it's not that I like the opposite party, it's that I don't like the same party as the other person, or I don't like it as much as they do. They don't really know what to do with me, so they throw me in with the opposition. That means if they are debating (or more likely arguing), they keep accusing me of liking the opposite party, and even reinforce it by using that party's ideas, and falsely accusing me of believing in them. This is complete and total indoctrination to the American political system of late. You are required to choose one party or the other. Once you do, you vehemently detest the other side, and anyone affiliated with it. For me not to have chosen one side or the other, nearly always makes me the enemy because I don't like the same party as the individual I'm talking to.

For example, I was recently debating politics with a friend who is a Democrat. He kept on pointing out bad things about the Republicans and attributing that to my beliefs. Then I would agree with him on that issue (against the Republicans), but I couldn't agree with the Democrats' position either. But his argument was hinged on what the Republicans were doing wrong. What was really bothering him, was that I didn't like the Democrats. But he was unable to make his point by defending their positions. His argument kept going back to how bad the Republicans were, and why couldn't I see that? The reality is, that I could see that. And I could also see the shortcomings of the Democrats, which was something that he couldn't see; or at least he couldn't accept.

Any way you look at it, politics, like society in general, has become shortsighted, selfish and immature. Worst of all, it's not improving, because everyone believes they are right.

-KJC

Friday, January 13, 2023

Christian Apocrypha and Gender Roles

I must admit to being fascinated by Christian Apocryphal writings. They often ring true to me. What is it that those who rejected these texts found so unnerving? As I was immersed in the traditions of a male dominated culture a lot this past year, I can imagine that sentiments such as these could be difficult for those who believe one gender should be subservient. -KJC

From “The Life of Saint Issa,” Chapter XII, Verses 8-21

8 At this juncture, an old woman who had approached the group, the better to hear Issa, was pushed aside by one of the spies, who placed himself before her.

9 Then Issa held forth: "It is not meet that a son should set aside his mother, taking her place. Whosoever respecteth not his mother, the most sacred being after his God, is unworthy of the name of son.

10 "Listen, then, to what I say unto you: Respect woman, for she is the mother of the universe, and all the truth of divine creation lies in her.

11 "She is the basis of all that is good and beautiful, as she is also the germ of life and death. On her depends the whole existence of man, for she is his natural and moral support.

12 "She gives birth to you in the midst of suffering. By the sweat of her brow she rears you, and until her death you cause her the gravest anxieties. Bless her and worship her, for she is your one friend, your one support on earth.

13 "Respect her, uphold her. In acting thus you will win her love and her heart. You will find favor in the sight of God and many sins shall be forgiven you.

14 "In the same way, love your wives and respect them; for they will be mothers tomorrow, and each later on the ancestress of a race.

15 "Be lenient towards woman. Her love ennobles man, softens his hardened heart, tames the brute in him, and makes of him a lamb.

16 "The wife and the mother are the inappreciable treasures given unto you by God. They are the fairest ornaments of existence, and of them shall be born all the inhabitants of the world.

17 "Even as the God of armies separated of old the light from the darkness and the land from the waters, woman possesses the divine faculty of separating in a man good intentions from evil thoughts.

18 "Wherefore I say unto you, after God your best thoughts should belong to the women and the wives, woman being for you the temple wherein you will obtain the most easily perfect happiness.

19 "Imbue yourselves in this temple with moral strength. Here you will forget your sorrows and your failures, and you will recover the lost energy necessary to enable you to help your neighbor.

20 "Do not expose her to humiliation. In acting thus you would humiliate yourselves and lose the sentiment of love, without which nothing exists here below.

21 "Protect your wife, in order that she may protect you and all your family. All that you do for your wife, your mother, for a widow or another woman in distress, you will have done unto your God."

Wednesday, January 11, 2023

Classified Documents Found in CuTRis' Shed


Classified Documents Found in CuTRis' Shed
UnAssociated Press
January 11, 2023


Today the House Oversight Committee, announced that it is investigating classified documents found inside of CuTRis' inventing shed. CuTRis denies any knowlege of the documents, and says it is just a smear campaign launched by both conservatives and liberals--to prevent a possible presidential run in 2024.

Friday, January 06, 2023

Not a "Sign"

I went to the store after work to pick up a rotisserie chicken. I saw an eagle on the way there! When I was in the store I saw a man who looked just like Mitch McConnell. While I was in the store they played "Devil with a Blue Dress," "Free Fallen'," and "Hollywood Nights." After I left, I looked at the clock in my car and it said 4:20 p.m. I knew this must be a "sign!" But, it wasn't.

Thursday, January 05, 2023

USA Broken Politics

The 2-party political system in the U.S. is broken. Eleven failed votes for Speaker of the House, and that's just because one party can't agree with itself!

Sometimes I almost think that I could be a liberal. But then, I also think that people should work and pay for their own stuff. And I think that all lives matter. And I think that black lives matter even when there isn't a police officer involved.

Sometimes I think I could be a conservative. But then, I also think people don't need guns made for war. And I think people should be allowed to make personal decisions rather than have them become criminals for advocating for their own health and family issues.

So the reality is, I'm probably overqualified.

CuTRis Voted in as House Speaker


CuTRis Voted in as House Speaker
UnAssociated Press
January 5, 2023


It was reported that CuTRis was voted in as Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives today. When asked if he was going to accept the position, CuTRis replied, "probably not, I'm kind of busy."

Wednesday, January 04, 2023

No Mail

Snowday Banana Bread

Snow?

Trump says it's not snowing. He also says all the snow proves there's no global warming.

More from George Santos


More from George Santos
UnAssociated Press
January 4, 2023


Today, Republican member of the U.S. House of Representatives, from New York's 3rd District, George Santos, revealed that he has squid ancestry on his mother's side, and that he built Taj Mahal in 1972, using Play-doh.

Tuesday, January 03, 2023

Dumb Stuff

Sometimes I dream about how efficient and streamline the world would be if people stopped worrying about dumb stuff.