The thoughts of a writer.

Monday, August 31, 2009

My Neighbor's Dumb Fix

This was too funny! My neighbor used aluminum foil to fix his gutters!

120-Gallon Aquarium For Sale

Email me if you want to buy it.


Friday, August 28, 2009

More Magic?

Early in this blog, I referenced an epiphany that I had about five years ago when two eagles flew directly over my head and I was suddenly convinced that I was blessed. I had been struggling to rebuild my life after returning to my beloved, native Minnesota—after experiencing heartache in “Providence,” Rhode Island. When I began this blog, I mentioned in my profile that I was looking for “the magic in life.”

Please allow me to continue… Now, five years later with a job, home and a beautiful, wonderful wife, we are now expecting our first child. Did I mention that? It is part of the personal life I don’t talk about much, when I fool around writing about the adventures of ”Cutris” that probably entertains me more than it does you. Still, if you are reading, perhaps I’ve caught your attention.

As my wife and I have been deciding how to best arrange things to accommodate the new arrival, we came to the conclusion that we have too many fish tanks. Since our ultimate goal is to sell two small homes and buy one that we can better fit into, we put a moratorium on buying new fish some time ago. During this time, I placed five crappie minnows (fishing bait) into our small tank, and until yesterday they and a single guppy inhabited this tank.

Our large tank currently houses a large orange Midas Cichlid that I bought for my wife a few years ago before we were married. It was supposed to live with the two Jack Dempsey’s who seemed to be too few for the 120-gallon tank. Unfortunately, the Dempsey’s attacked the Midas as cichlids do, and an infection in the tank nearly killed them all. My wife added some medicine to the water and the trio survived. They lived together for a long time, though when we went on vacation they apparently fought more as the “vacation feeders” must not have been enough for them. The Midas grew larger and over time, killed off the other two—leaving us recently, with one big Midas in a very big tank.

My solution to this dilemma was that I would put the bait fish in the small “pond” thing we have in the yard. They might die, which I felt bad about, but let’s face it, they could have ended up impaled on a fishhook waiting to be attacked by a predatory fish. Before winter if they survived, I would need to find a place to put them—but I would worry about that later. When “Bob” goes back to school (note* “Bob” is the Beta fish that my (teacher) wife keeps in her classroom), the guppy could live in the huge two-gallon bowl Bob has spent his summer “vacation” in. This would leave the small tank that I would clean and transfer the Midas into.

Today is the day I decided to start the process, and this morning when I fed them, two of the crappie minnows had died overnight. Yesterday they were healthy. Perhaps they reached the end of their natural lives? We’ve had them for over a year now. At any rate, I could only chuckle at the “magic” of these fish leaving the planet (and the fish tank) just before they were transferred out by circumstance.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Senator Edward Kennedy

Senator Edward Kennedy died last evening at the age of 77, after a yearlong battle with brain cancer. His election to the U.S. Senate slightly predates my entire life. His work has affected many positive changes in our country.
Today Cutris salutes Ted Kennedy.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Cutris says, Craig Ferguson is probably the funniest man on late night television. After Jay Leno left the Tonight Show, Conan and Letterman (while very funny), have failed to fill the gap. Ferguson is hilarious, though the late time slot is difficult for those with day jobs. Keep watching The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. Cutris is bound to be on the show sooner or later.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Cutris Hikes Louisville Swamp

I hiked the Mazomani Trail at Louisville Swamp today. I saw many things, but most of the animals didn't "wait around" to get their pictures taken. I saw a Bald eagle, assorted hawks, two Great Horned owls, an osprey, six Turkey vultures and more!
The bridge across the creek has been removed since about two or three years ago. I crossed anyway through knee-deep water.
Here's a peek...

Friday, August 21, 2009

When God Showers?

Does the bathroom steam up when God showers?

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

To Favre or Not to Favre...

To Favre or Not to Favre? That is the question. Former Green Bay Packer quarterback, Brett Favre retired. Then he unretired. Then he played for the New York Jets. Then he retired again. Then he was coming to the Minnesota Vikings. Then he wasn't. Then he was. Then he wasn't. Then he was. Then he wasn't. Then he was. Then he wasn't. Then he was. Then he wasn't. Then he was. Then he wasn't. Now apparently he did. Too bad for Vikings quarterbacks Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels. The winners here are the owners of the team. Vikings ticket sales have spiked since Favre arrived. Personally, I might upchuck when I see him in purple.

The Vikings have tried recycled quarterbacks before, such as Jim McMahon and Warren Moon. Now they cling to the hope that a probably "washed-up" Brett Favre will be the ticket to a Superbowl victory.

I hope so, but I've had my hopes dashed by this team for... forever...

Monday, August 17, 2009

"Talkin' Nonsense"

The television is filled with commercials about suing people and telling you to ask your doctor about the kind of drugs you you think that you should be prescribed. Wait... isn't that your doctor's job???

How can these (people and) companies feel good about themselves when they are pushing drugs? In fact, they are putting the local drug dealers... the "mom and pop" sellers out of business! And it's legal!!!

Meanwhile, people "sit in the dark" and take it...


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Why I like the woods...

Do I really need to explain? The pictures say it all...

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


Today I will make wine from (tart) wild grapes and honey.

This is a picture of some of the actual wild grapes I'm using!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Grapes and Moving

Today I picked wild grapes (for wine) and moved furniture...

Monday, August 10, 2009

Publish America is Stupid!

You might remember my previous post about Publish America lowering the price of my book. Well, they raised it again! They are really stupid and that is why I can't use them again!

My email to them...

Publish America,

A week or two ago I noticed my book was $6.99. Finally!!! I've been telling you that I couldn't market because my book is priced too high!

Now, the paperback is back to $19.95.

Newsflash, this is a hardcover price!
This is why I can't use PA for my second novel.

Go ahead now, give me the "corporate response."

Kevin J. Curtis

Friday, August 07, 2009

Johnson Parkway

Of course this is “juvenile” humor, but I think “Johnson Parkway” is funny! You may (or may not) remember that Cutris crossed the Pacific with his Johnson. I got a nice email from Dave in Australia, congratulating me for this feat! Later, I showed the practical side of having Johnson Controls. Finally, who could forget the building named Big Wood? What else would you call a building where you could buy bail bonds and a sub sandwich?

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Threat Level Orange

Whenever I drive by the airport, I see these signs. I started wondering... what is threat level orange?.

I thought perhaps since a red alert is bad, and a yellow alert is not as bad, and since the color orange is made from mixing yellow and red, that orange is somewhere in between. It turns out this was right! It seems from now on, we are on high alert.

The real information is on the other sign. "If I see suspicious activity... who do I call... Ghost Busters? No. Pizza Palace??? No... Oh yeah! That sign said to call 9-1-1!"

Laura Ling and Euna Lee Released!

U.S. journalists Laura Ling and Euna Lee were released from North Korea , and are back with their families thanks to the efforts of many people—including former President Bill Clinton. This development is great news for the families of the two journalists, and gives hope to U.S. hikers who decide to stray too close to foreign powers that are in disagreement with the United States.

The release of Ling and Lee reinforces Bill Clinton’s commitment to good domestic and foreign relations. Whenever good-looking, young women are being held against their will, we can all feel secure in the knowledge that Bill will be there for them.

Monday, August 03, 2009

Hungry Fish