The thoughts of a writer.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

American Idol

I can’t stand American Idol. I don’t understand why they show people who are really bad singers, unless it’s just so they can make fun of them. Still, millions of people apparently care about this show, so I decided to write about my own experience on it…

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Cutris: “My name is Cutris and I have a band called EFS, which stands for the Electric Frog Syrup Band. Instead of singing one of my own songs though, I’ve decided to sing “Curtis Lowe” by Lynard Skynard.”

Randy Jackson: “Hey Dog, how’s it goin’ Dog? Dog dog dog.”

Paula Abdul: “I love it that you came out here and told us what you are doing. I love that!”

Kara GioGuardi: “Paula, you’re such a dork! Of course, that is why I’m on the show now!”

Simon Cowell: “You all suck! Can we get on with it please???”

Randy Jackson: “Go ahead Dog, let’s see what you got!”

Cutris sings the first verse and refrain and sounds pretty good.

Simon Cowell: “No one told you to stop, did they?”

Cutris: “No, but you were rolling your eyes.”

Paula Abdul: “He can’t help that, I thought you were great!”

Kara Gio Guardi: “You think everyone is great. I think it was ‘good,’ but not ‘great.’”

Randy Jackson: “No Dog, it was good! Good Dog!”

Cutris: “Stop calling me dog, dumb ass!”

Simon Cowell: “Now that, was funny, though I think your singing was simply hideous!”

Paula Abdul: “It was good, really!”

Kara Gio Guardi: “Now you’ve got it, ‘good’.”

Randy Jackson: “Why you callin’ me a ‘dumb ass,’ Dog?”

Cutris: “Because you are a dumb ass. As a matter-of-fact, you’re all a bunch of dumb assess!”

Cutris walks off while the judges continue arguing. Eventually Ryan Seacreast has to tell them that Cutris has left the building.

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