The thoughts of a writer.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Variable Instantaneous Oil Change™

Come into one of our Variable Instantaneous Oil Change™ locations for a full service oil change!

Our prices (and we have many!) start at just $34.95.

But wait! Our "Conventional" oil, while better than any other brand, is not right for your particular car. You could get by on our synthetic blend, Better Blend™ for only $15 more and your car will work better! If you upgrade from there to Super Better Blend™ for another $20, your car will be able to jump over other cars!

Why don't we just save time? For only $87 more, you can jump up to our best oil, Super Great Ultimate Hunky Dorie Synthetic Ultra Blend™. When changed every 3,000 miles, this oil will make you more attractive to the opposite sex, while keeping your car cleaner! This oil will actually vacuum your car's interior while you drive!

Don't waste another day being ugly and driving with stupid oil!
Stop in today!


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