Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Mark of a Bully

We may think of bullies in terms of adolescent boys, but over the years I've noticed that they can come in a variety of forms. One of these is the middle-aged woman with the nasty mouth. This person likes to make nasty comments and does it from some vantage point that feels safe. Often they look for positions with some kind of power; where they can satisfy their desire to make others uncomfortable. I'm fortunate to have nice bosses at my current job, but I did recently have a run-in with a bully from outside of work who exhibited 'classic' bully behavior.

The interesting thing I've found out about bullies over the years, is that they are rarely actually 'tough.' If you stand up to a bully, they frequently run and cry and pretend that they are the victim. This is very typical, or what I consider to be 'classic' bully behavior. They are only comfortable when their victim is unable or unwilling to fight back.

Often a bully who has been confronted will feel indignant because of his/her belief that he/she is smarter and more morally superior than the rest of the population. Perhaps it is a defense mechanism for dealing with their own insecurities. Whatever the reason, unless you are dealing with a psycho-gun-toting-bully, most bullies are uncomfortable if you point-blank tell them to please stop. If you are so inclined, give it a try. No one should have to be bullied.

--KJC

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