Cutris gives you Answers to Junk Email

I have millions of dollars to share with you if you help me get it out of my country (I just need your private information).
Cutris Answers: I have a dead rat. Let me know if you want half of it.

Make your "junk" bigger!"
Cutris Answers: I can't or it will need to apply for its own zip code.

Click here to update your (insert bank, credit card, etc.) account.
Cutris Answers: Click on your butt to see if it tickles.

...and finally,

I am a poor, yet beautiful Russian girl. You are the man of my dreams! Please respond to me so we can live happily ever after!
Cutris Answers: I am a drunken commode salesman, I can fulfill your dreams if you send me enough rubles to buy me some gin!