Cutris Critical of Critics Who Criticized

Cutris Critical of Critics Who Criticized
UnAssociated Press
April 7, 2009

Since his press conference last week, Cutris has been criticized for "show boating," when he single-handedly moved a giant tree with both hands. Cutris supporters responded yesterday by showing the former Presidential candidate clearing hiking trails. The two photos, deemed authentic by experts from Doug's Photo Mart, show Cutris first pushing over a huge tree, and then carrying it.

Critics have complained that this feat is impossible, and Cutris does not actually have super-powers. This prompted Cutris to release this statement this morning.

"I don't wish to be critical of the critics, whose job is criticism, but said critics have continued to be critical of me, and my super-powers for almost a week now. I have nothing to prove, and were I to critique the critics, I would have to be quite critical of them and their critically acclaimed criticisms!"