CuTRis' Condition Improved

CuTRis’ Condition Improved
UnAssociated Press
July 22, 2021

After his miraculous space flight, CuTRis was rushed to the hospital for an emergency ponchoectomy! During reentry, the rain poncho he was wearing partially melted and stuck to the daring astronaut’s asbestos underwear. After the procedure, CuTRis was debriefed, before showering and dressing for breakfast. When asked about the event, CuTRis merely replied,
”It had to be done, so people don’t forget to try hard, dream big, and reach for the sky!”
We at the UnAssociated Press couldn’t agree more. If nothing else, exploration always leads to new technology and advancement. At the very least, private sector space flight is a great distraction from the depressing news that we are exposed to every single day. Aim high!