CuTRis' Butt for President?

CuTRis' Butt for President?
UnAssociated Press
August 11, 2016

In a totally unscientific straw poll conducted by no one in particular, it appears that if CuTRis' Butt were to run for President, it would come in 11 points ahead of Hillary Clinton and 642 points ahead of Donald Trump; if the election were held today. Tomorrow, CuTRis' Butt would win by an even larger margin! CuTRis has said that he will not run; and CuTRis' Butt was not available for comment. Though it would almost surely win, no one can be sure if CuTRis' Butt will run for President at this time.