Blame Shifting for Beginners

1.  Nobody will hire me because I'm (Insert race, religion or other dumb reason)!
2.  That (Insert cuss words and derogatory adjectives) doesn't like me because I'm prettier than her!
3.  It's not because I don't try! (Look up from video game marathon to say this)
4.  I get discouraged easily. (Implying it is the person responsible for rejection's fault)
5.  I didn't have enough time. (Say this after returning from 4-hour trip to the store)
6.  I'd like to do that; except it's too hard. (Say this while lying on the couch)
7.  Nobody understands me! (Scream this and then slam the door with no explanation)
8.  That's how I was brought up. (This absolves you of responsibility and blames your parents)
9.  You are a racist! (Trump card. This can win any argument you cannot otherwise win with truth and logic)
10. Why bother? It will never work. (Probably because you will never try)
11. Well I could say the same about you! (This directly transfers the criticism back at the other person whether it is right or not)
12. He told me to! (This demonstrates that you had no control)
13. I was just following orders. (This demonstrates that you had no independent thinking ability)
14. I did my best. (This tells others to believe you did your best)
15. I guess I'm a failure. (But only because you believe that)
16. He told me to! (This demonstrates that you had no control)
17. It's because I'm (Insert race, religion or other dumb reason)!