Kmart: A Necessary Dumb

Every once-in-awhile I have to go to Kmart. There are a few things I can't seem to find anywhere else. For instance, Rustler Jeans. Now that I'm not in sixth grade and I don't have Tom M. making fun of my clothes, shoes, finger nails, hair, (and other things I won't mention), I can buy and wear whatever I want to. I like functional and inexpensive. I also like the old style jeans that can (literally) stand up (against a wall) by themselves after their first washing. Nobody seems to sell these anymore!!! Everything is prewashed, preshrunk, pre-softened, pre-worn! It's ridiculous! If I want worn-out jeans I'll pull some out of my closet!!! Well anyway, the Rustlers have a pretty close replica of real jeans and I can only find them at KameApart. So I went to Kmart and found the Rustlers I wanted except they didn't have my size! They did have my size in a black pair but not the blue. So I decided to try the black pair. When I got to the fitting rooms, a woman was working over there so I asked her if they might have more of the blue somewhere in back. She said, "I'm filling in over here, but I'll axe about that." Then she asked me what size I needed (I showed her the closest size in blue which had my waist size but was two inches longer than my inseam). Then she said, "Well this one is almost the right size. Why don't you buy this one?" I told her they were too long. So she said, "Depending on what size shoes or boots you wear they'll be okay." (Hmmm... like maybe when I wear my two-inch high heels? Doesn't every man have a pair?) I told her I was not buying them unless they were the correct size and I would try the black ones (that were my size) while she checked on the blue. The black jeans fit. So when I came out of the fitting room, I asked the same woman if she had found any blue in my size. Well she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about. Apparently when she said she would "axe someone" she didn't really mean that she would actually do it. Now, she told me that "everything is already out." This was information I could have used during our previous conversation. But now, she walked over to where the jeans were (I showed her where) so she could look too—in case I didn't know how to look for my size myself. Wouldn't you know it; she didn't find my size either. So she suggested I pick out another color.

I'm telling you, Kmart has some really "brilliant" people on their staff! She was a “fashion consultant” and everything! How come I didn't think of buying the wrong size in a different color?

Keep up the good work Kmart! It reminds me of the time I was there being told the trimmer I saw in their ad wasn't available when a big display of them was 20 steps away! With exceptionally talented people like that on your staff, you'll be closing even more stores soon!