I want to thank British petroleum, also known as BP. You may have seen their commercial on TV about their commitment to the Gulf, where poor policies resulted in an explosion, dead oil platform workers and an environmental disaster.
Now, some ass clown is on TV telling me that the Gulf of Mexico is better than ever, since BP spilled all that oil in it. So thanks BP! Thank you for insulting my intelligence. Thanks for "making the gulf better than ever" by spilling oil into it! Maybe we should spill oil into all of our waterways to make them better!
Also, thanks for telling me how much money you're spending in the gulf to clean it up. Because gas prices are really high and I want to know that the profits that you and the other oil companies are making from hard working people are at least going to a good cause in cleaning up the mess you made. Thanks so much BP, you're the greatest.
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