Cutris Talks of his Mission

Cutris Talks of his Mission
UnAssociated Press
March 9, 2010
By Blip Martinson, Staff reporter

Deep in the hills of Afghanistan, I met with Cutris, busy with his latest secret mission. Apparently he has devised a plan, originally used (unsuccessfully) by Wile E. Coyote to catch the Roadrunner. Cutris said he will place a sign in the hills here that says, "Free Toyota Car for Terrorists who Hate America." This sign is reminiscent of Wile E. Coyote's sign that says, "Free Birdseed."

I asked Cutris, "Aren't you worried that the coyote's plans always fail, and that he often is injured in the process?" Cutris replied by saying, "No not really. Wile E. always relied on ACME products. I'm going to use a Toyota." I must have looked puzzled, because Cutris went on to explain that he was sure that if he could just get Osama bin Laden to drive a late model Toyota, the dangers from the many faulty parts currently on recall would cause him to speed out-of-control and careen down a mountain and crash! Cutris explained that his plan was top secret, which is why I wanted to publish it before anyone else found out!

I left Cutris, as he was busy hoisting an anvil high above an "X" marked on the road below. There seemed to be little doubt that he was taking another page from the coyote's book of schemes, as he set another trap for the world's most notorious terrorist.

-Blip Martinson, UAP