Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Cutris Tangles with Al Qaeda

UnAssociated Press
February 10, 2009

"Forward Wing Command to Cutris, come in Cutris."
"This is Cutris Wing Command, I read you over."
"You are authorized to engage the hostile; Cutris, I repeat, eliminate with extreme prejudice."
"Affirmative Wing Commander, in pursuit."

The F-22 Raptor rapidly closed in on the strange craft that had appeared less than 20 minutes ago. In the short time before Cutris had been deployed, it had sent the local population fleeing in panic, as it dropped its putrid payload upon the city below. Homeland Security had contacted the air command and Cutris was in his F-22A and airborne within five minutes.

Closing on his target at Mach 2, Cutris locked-in two AIM-120 radar-guided air-to-air missiles. A moment later, the enemy was gone.

A post incident investigation concluded that the enemy… er… "craft," had been laden with goat dung. It had dumped much of its… er… "payload" onto the city before being incinerated by two AIM-120 radar-guided air-to-air missiles.
Al Qaeda took credit for this latest terrorist attack, and vowed to seek revenge against all infidels.

Cutris, wearing his "100% Infidel" designer T-shirt, commented that "clean livin' prevailed!"


At Mach 2, the F-22A was flying much too fast for a real photo. This picture, however, demonstrates with great precision, what took place just moments before the Al Qaeda "plane" was destroyed.

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