Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting

August 17, 2005
Cycle 3, Blue Planet
Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting.

I have returned to the Blue Planet in search of intelligent life. Last time, my findings were inconclusive. The temperature was lower today, below 17 helo-hectars. The bipedal beings have not changed much in the past rotation around the star. They still drive quad-rolling transport devices, and most of them are still vocalizing into small radio devices that they hold against their auditory canals. It seems that none of them are very good at both driving a quad-rolling transport and using a radio vocalizer at the same time. I would have thought that during the past solar orbit they would have improved their skills. It seems that their lack of intelligence is more so than I had first anticipated. They are still using prehistoric biotoxins to power almost everything. The residue has caused significant damage to the environmental well-being of this planet. Again, the bipedal beings seem to be too ignorant to figure this out. Hoping to go unnoticed, I changed shape and put on a pair of floppy foot protectors and baggy lower extremity coverings. I also wore a pullover upper cover made of processed plant fiber. I put a covering on the top, and then turned it around backward –the way these moronic creatures prefer to wear them. Then I entered a large construction with many transports parked outside. The front of it said, “Wal*mart.” My disguise seemed to be working perfectly, as none of the beings inside took any notice of me. I decided that I would replenish my supplies with the crude materials I found at Wal*mart. No one stopped me from picking out what I wanted. As a matter-of-fact, none of the beings wearing Wal*mart coverings ever approached me! It wasn’t until I tried to leave, that a siren of some kind went off. An aged being closed in. It was wearing numerous metal jewelry items, and it must have been a high-ranking official! Soon more beings joined in and chased me into the transport storage area outside. They were vocalizing loudly and acting threateningly toward me. I decided that I had better act quickly to save myself, so I secreted fomboorg on several of the nearby transports and they began to melt. That got their attention, and they allowed me to escape just before the aliens wearing blue clothing, with a variety of strange paraphernalia attached, drove up in their noisy, flashing transport. I still am not sure what to think of these aliens. I am going to leave this place. I do not hold much hope for finding intelligent life here. Perhaps another solar orbit will help.