I am CuTRis

I'm wrapping up a business trip and when we all went out to eat last evening, the bill included a forced gratuity of 18%. First off, a gratuity is supposed to be an extra freely given for satisfactory or exceptional service. It has, however, become a way for certain businesses to get their customers to (at least partially) pay their employees. I believe the word gratuity is perhaps no longer appropriate. Maybe it should be called, Your portion of our employees wages .

Chinese Government is in Your Butt UnAssociated Press February 26, 2013 Hackers within the Chinese government have apparently hacked into a secret United States government database that contains the exact circumference of everyone in America's butt. The implications are not fully known at this time, but one high ranking U.S. official said "the situation stinks and it is not likely to get any better." The Chinese government has denied looking up our butts.

The continuing saga of a polarized, two-party system, whose members enjoy bickering back-and-forth more than they do about the welfare of the country and the equally polarized people who live in it. This film has been rated "P" for pathetic and contains scenes of graphic stupidity and pig-headed-ness.

CuTRis Wins Oscar UnAssociated Press February 25, 2013 CuTRis won an Oscar last night for his realiastic portrayal of a man who doesn't care about the Oscars, and who doesn't much care for award shows in general--in "The Life of CuTris" . CuTRis was unavailable for comment and did not pickup his little statue .

... are something I don't care about...

CuTRis To Become Leftenant: Gets Special Music UnAssociated Press February 22, 2013 Rumors that CuTRis is taking a job as a First Leftenant in the 2nd Dragoons has appeared for the third time in the last four minutes. Apparently CuTRis is also expected to begin arriving and departing with Special Music , just like the wrestlers of fake wrestling do. CuTRis has apparently secured the services of a Mariachi Band to follow him around and provide the music whenever he arrives or departs from a room, place or event.

That British Petroleum (BP) PSA where the Operations Manager talks about how great the gulf is after the BP oil spill makes me sick! So I made my own PSA ( click here to view )!

Owl Pellet Owl Eating Dave Story Might be a Hoax UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Sources have revealed today, that the shocking story of Dave being devoured whole by a Great Horned Owl and coming out as an “owl pellet,” may have been a hoax. After dissecting the owl pellet , Dave was not found inside. When he learned of the hoax, CuTRis said, “Huh… I assumed it was true since I always told Dave that an owl was going to grab his head if’n he kept wearing that hat!”

CuTRis To “Lock Horns” with Great Horned UnAssociated Press February 21, 2013 Today CuTRis announced that he plans to kick the ass of the owl who ate Dave and stole his rabbit hat. The owl was unavailable for comment—but was last seen driving Dave’s truck.

CuTRis & Owl Comment on Eating of Dave UnAssociated Press February 20, 2013 Today CuTRis condemned the actions of the owl who ate Dave. The owl also spoke out, and has claimed Dave’s property as his own. This angered CuTRis , who apparently threatened to kick the owl’s ass. “No one messes with an owl,” said CuTRis , “but I have been provoked!” The owl reportedly screamed at CuTRis , who flipped the owl "the bird" in retaliation.

This is my friend Dave . He always liked to wear that rabbit hat. Then one day, an owl ate him.

A few news stories I've seen about the "riot" at Minneapolis, South High cited "racial tensions" as the cause. If the parties at odds are Somali and African-American, isn't that like calling a dispute between a Swede and a Norwegian racial?

cuTRis in his natural habitat.

This morning I saw five cars go through one red light at an intersection. This is totally understandable though--since instead of leaving early or getting up earlier, it is much better to risk killing or maiming others because you are in a hurry.

I dreamed I had a motorized Trike last night. You know... one of those 3-wheeled motorcycles. Now I want one for some reason...

Due to the absolute ridiculous garbage that was coming through as "comments," I have unfortunately (once again) limited it to those who register and have an identity. I had hoped that anonymous comments could open "the door" to more conversation, but I've simply allowed someone who likely doesn't have a job, a wife or a girlfriend (my observation is based on the comments being between Midnight and 4:00AM)--to pretend to know what he's talking about. Or perhaps it is an equally pathetic female... as I don't know because the person is only known as "Anonymous."

I need to make a living somehow by being in the woods.

The nasty virus that my baby has been fighting got to my wife and then me. Saturday I slept half the day.

My little boy is still recovering from a nasty virus.

I know a guy who thinks feeding all of the babies/kids with one spoon is good--because it makes their immune systems strong. His family is originally from S.E. Asia--which has a high occurrence of Hepatitis B incidents within the population. I've decided that the next time the issue comes up (and it will if I see him using one spoon to feed multiple kids), I'm going to tell him that he should lick the toilets in public restrooms--because certainly, that would be very good for strengthening his immune system. Bottom-line: People from other countries might be able to tolerate less hygienic conditions than we can in the USA--but people generally don't live as long in those countries.