I am CuTRis

You can find the latest review of my book, "He-Who-Goes-First," at Alison Woo's website, http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/2006/02/fascinating-new-book.html http://bestbookblog.blogspot.com/

UnAssociated Press Cutris was recognized today, for his stellar achievement in inventing the most innovative and important invention to date, known to mankind. This invention is thought to have far reaching implications and rivals such other super-inventions, such as, the light bulb, the wheel, the computer chip and beer. No doubt, you will be hearing more about this marvelous invention in the days to come. Cutris could not be reached for comment at the time this story was printed. It is thought that he was busy working in his “inventing shed.”

Yesterday I was watching the news when a story came on that blew me away! Apparently not only is the security of some of the United States’ seaports managed by people from foreign countries, but there is a pending sale for a United Arab Emirates-based company to run six of our ports. There was (of course) a call of racism, and that anyone should be allowed to have the security contract. Perhaps while we’re at it, we should bring in some Al-Qaeda personnel to work as Secret Service agents, to guard the President. Personally, I don’t want anyone who isn’t an American, running the security of anything as important as a seaport. I don’t care if the company is Canadian, we should set a precedent that no foreign entities can run our ports. This is simply a no-brainer as far as I’m concerned. Do we want real security, or should we just hand over the keys to the White House to the highest bidder? Finally, I have this to say… don’t make me run for President, because I will! And when I win, th...

For perhaps the first time ever, my left eye may have better vision than my right eye. This is due to the LASIK enhancement that I underwent on Friday. It got me wondering if this will cause my body/personality to adjust to this new situation. My left eye droops a bit more than the right, and my right eye always had better vision –though both eyes were visually impaired and I needed glasses or contact lenses until my original LASIK treatment a year ago. When I think of my left side/half/hemisphere, I feel that it is more sensitive, neurotic and creative, while my right side has always been clearly superior in strength and agility. While I am left-eyed, my eye surgeon did some basic tests to determine “eyed-ness” on me, and I am truly ambidextrous. I shoot right handed, so I generally aim with the right eye. Now, after having my eyes corrected, it seems that my left eye may actually end up with better vision. This is of course, once the eye fully recovers from the laser surgery. I beg...

Yesterday I had my LASIK enhancement in my left eye. They told me I wouldn’t go completely blind this time, which was true. I was able to watch through the eye they were working on. The corneal flap never heals all the way, though apparently it sticks down pretty tight -as I watched the doctor pull it back up with a tiny forceps. The actual laser treatment took seconds this time. My evening after the procedure was much like before. It felt like I had something in my eye and the tears flowed for several hours. This morning my eyelid is swollen, but my vision is great and my post-op exam went well. Would I do it again? Yes. I would do the initial and the enhancement again if I could have my vision the way it is now. As I said before though, when you are lying on the table with your cornea opened up, it’s good to know you have the best doctor and team. I would still recommend going to the best, not the cheapest.

Tomorrow I go for a LASIK enhancement. I had my original eye surgery a year ago, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but well worth it. I just need the left eye fixed a little bit more. I was apprehensive about the process, and thought about it for a couple of years. I finally decided to do it and a friend told me about his doctor. I went to the same place. It wasn’t cheap, but I would recommend finding the best not the cheapest for something like this. The process is quite interesting; as they open the cornea and then burn (with a laser) the inside layers to the desired shape. Then they put the flap of cornea back down and it eventually heals on its own. It is a bit unnerving when the cornea is opened and you essentially go blind. Eventually you smell burning flesh. This wasn’t something I wanted to do again, but when it’s over I should see quite well out of both eyes. http://www.mneye.com/ps_lasik.aspx

I got to hangout with a bunch of seventh graders for three days of fieldtrips. On Wednesday, we went to Richardson Nature Center. http://www.threeriversparkdistrict.org/outdoor_ed/center_richardson.cfm Among the activities there, we were introduced to the three resident raptors. There was an American Kestrel, a Red-Tailed Hawk and a Barred Owl. All were injured or otherwise unable to return to the wild. The kids were also instructed on how to set up a tarp and start a fire to survive in the Minnesota winter. In this, they had varied success. The three groups with me ranged from the “hill people,” who tried to accomplish this on an incline and used all their matches trying to light sticks, to the meticulous group who thought they were doing poorly who lit a nice fire with one match. Note* the hill people would have frozen to death. On Thursday we went to the Wildlife Science Center. http://www.wildlifesciencecenter.org/ Bob the guy who did the program was excellent. Among the interestin...

I am going on three fieldtrips with the seventh graders for the next three days. It's all about natural history, wildlife and survival. It should be good. At least I'll be out of detention!

George W. Bush gave his State of the Union speech last evening. It brings up one question. If you talk out of your ass a lot, do you end up with hemorrhoids?

Sometimes things don’t work out the way we thought they would. Actually, I’ve found that happens a lot. It can be really sad or frustrating for awhile, but with each one of these events, there are new experiences. Perhaps the timing was an issue, or maybe it was a clash of priorities. If I gave my best, I can take comfort in the realization that it was beyond my control. Maybe it will come around again or maybe not. That can’t be my primary focus. There are nearly always positives that come along with the negatives. Things that were locked out of reach in one scenario may suddenly become possible again. Two things are important in life. One is love, and the other is trying to do the right thing. We can’t always be successful at this all the time, but it is important to try. Other people and other forces can sometimes get in the way. Then we have to look for that positive side and move ahead into the next grand experience. Today I am a little sad, greatly relieved and hopefully-optimist...

Funny... since I embraced the nickname of "Bald Eagle," that a couple of the detention kids gave me, I haven't heard them use it much! I wonder why??? Here is a picture of me with my eagle statue, thanks to my coworker Kim for being thoughtful enough to bring it in.

I still think I need to teach a comedy class at the school. The kids think they're funny, but they aren't. Their timing is all wrong. I had to tell one that he couldn't talk in detention. Then I had to tell him he couldn't sing. Finally I had to tell him he couldn't drum. He was wearing a suit for some reason, and he asked me if it was against the rules to look good, because he might have to leave. I told him he wouldn't have to worry about that! insert cymbal crash! ( That’s good timing!) Then he sneered at me. Eventually, I kicked him out of detention to the office because he didn't know how to shut-up.

Some of the regular trouble-makers at the Jr. High where I work, have come up with the (super creative) name for me, "Bald Eagle." It is actually rather appropriate (though I'm sure they meant to be disrespectful) because as a volunteer park ranger in the Minnesota Valley National Wildlife Refuge, much of my reporting to the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service is about birds of prey, and Bald Eagles in particular. I am considering hanging a poster of a Bald Eagle in the detention room where I work. For now, I have printed the eagle picture from my November archives, and put it on the bulletin board behind me.

Yesterday I had the day off from work. When my original plans crashed, I got to do one of my favorite things. I went into the woods to do my park ranger job. I hiked the west end of Wilkie, which is open in the winter. This section of the wildlife refuge is closed March through August, as it is home to a large colony of Great Blue Herons and egrets. Now, as the leaves are gone from the trees, it is quite impressive to see the hundreds of nests. I think since this area is closed for so much of the year, it is wilder than some other places. I saw four Red-Tailed Hawks (who were very vocal) before I walked up on an opossum. Shortly after that, I heard the metallic sound of Bald Eagles, and I saw two of them in the trees close by. I headed through the woods, avoiding the trail as much as possible. I found a bird-kill site. The black feathers with white spots made me think that perhaps it was a woodpecker that met its demise. A short time later, I found a deer carcass. It was interesting si...

I saw a big full moon when I was driving in to work this morning! This confirms my suspicions about (Moron Week) yesterday's post.

The (Jr. High) detention room where I work has been extremely busy lately. I haven’t encountered such quantities before. Mostly, it is kids who are completely without respect for anyone. An adult (who’s supposed to be in charge) like myself, can give a directive and the answer is openly defiant. They prefer to refuse and escalate the situation rather than comply. I don’t accept that behavior and will move to the next appropriate level. Having some experience working with those who have served time behind bars, I can’t really see any good things for these kids unless they wakeup at some point. This week’s list of offenses is astounding, and even the school police liaison officer has been involved. When I went to public school, teachers and administration regularly hit students. While I’m not in favor of such things in general, I wonder if the tide has turned too much. These kids know that no one is allowed to lay a hand on them. As a result, they have no healthy respect for either autho...

Even though there is ice on most of the lakes in Minnesota right now, I have been daydreaming about fishing for Pike in warmer weather. That's me with a nice Pike from The summer before last. Usually, out of the guys in the band, Dave catches more fish and since he fishes more, it's probably the way it should be. But last summer, on one particular excursion, Pete caught the 36 inch, 11 pound Pike. I got nothing that day, and Dave is over on the right holding up... a minnow? No, I guess it's a small Pike that is being dwarfed by "Pete's giant wanker fish." http://www.petesgiantwankerfish.net My appologies to all the "Walleye or nothing" snobs out there, but Pike fight hard and they taste good.

Kid's Name is in Detention all day today and Wednesday. As near as I can tell, he finished all of his outstanding detentions and must have started missing me, so he tackled some other kid in the hallway to get an in-school-suspension just to hang out with me! Last Friday he got kicked out of detention for fighting over "his seat." Kid's Name is a regular, and very attached to a particular seat in the room. He is in a different seat right now, expanding his horizons... I have also trained Kid's Name to enter and leave my room without swinging on the door frame. I did this by telling him I would give him an (unprecedented) five (5) detentions if he ever swung on the door frame again. I asked him if he could do it and he said he didn't think so. I reached back and got a detention form and asked him if I should put his name on it now. When the bell rang, he ended up leaving like a normal person! It's these little victories...

I am continually amazed at how everything seems to run counterproductive to everything else. I work at a school, and I also have a close friend who is constantly driving her children to and from sporting activities and school functions. When I was a kid, we hopped on a school bus and were transported to the next school for sporting events. Our parents did not need to drive us or attend each outing. This undoubtedly saved time and fuel. Now, due to budget cuts, schools have shifted the burden onto parents who must drive to faraway places with great frequency. Though the global idea is supposed to be to save fuel, all of these mini-vans must be using considerably more gas than the single bus was. Still, the school saves and taxes don’t go up –though we use more gas and parents spend more money. At the school I work at, I noticed that everything at lunch is throwaway. Nothing is recycled. The trays are Styrofoam and the “sporks” are plastic. All are thrown away. Each of the three lunches...

One of my coworkers was gruesomely murdered last Friday. Since I work at a school, the students are also upset. The news media has been relentless in describing the details of the horrible death in an attempt to outdo all the other media outlets with gory details. This isn't how we wanted to remember our coworker. It is a very sad story, and all of us are upset by this and the news coverage.