CuTRis Wants to Win Triple Crown

CuTRis Wants to Win Triple Crown
UnAssociated Press
March 3, 2025

CuTRis wants to win the Triple Crown. The problem is, the Thoroughbred Racing Associations of North America will not allow CuTRis to compete because he is a human.

"I should be able to race against the fastest thoroughbreds in the world!" CuTRis was quoted as saying. "They are complaining that I have an unfair advantage, because I only have two legs. But mostly, it's because I have been clocked at speeds of up to 88 miles-per-hour!"

Can CuTRis run 142 kilometers-per-hour? Yes, it appears that he can. Opponents of CuTRis' request, say that people have no business racing against horses. Staunch liberals, however, believe that CuTRis should be allowed to race within the group that he most identifies with. Furthermore, he should not only be allowed to race against horses, but he should be declared the winner if he crosses the finish line first. Likely, there will be much more debate to come regarding this emotional, and incredibly important topic!