Unglip Returns to the Blue Planet

Cycle 4, Blue Planet
Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting

Well, it has been 117 zenagrenbills since I last explored the Blue Planet. I left the Bindir section of the home world after receiving my orders. Patussi only knows why I was so unlucky as to have to return here. I would much rather visit the Pilmorai on Vindis 8. But, here I am, ready to once again, observe the bipedal creatures of the Blue Planet. Perhaps the bipedal creatures will finally show a few remoflacions of intelligence; but I did not hold out much hope of that happening.

When I materialized on the planet's surface, the temperature was above 22 helo-hectars. The bipedals were still using quad-rolling transports and were still burning prehistoric biotoxins to power almost everything. I saw a particular bipedal creature who while stumbling and emitting a foul odor, seemed quite pleased with things and appeared in a pleasant state. I attempted to make contact and the creature seemed eager to communicate. I gathered from its vocalizations, that this bipedal was called, "Bastardly." The creature motioned with its appendage for me to follow. When we got to the dwelling of this pathetic bipedal, I found that he was what is known as "male," and the "female" he lived with was called, "Jena Sequa." They appeared to be experiencing some sort of resource shortage. The resident quad-pedal, furred creature had taken to eating small, long-tailed animals; and so I was rather envious of it. I hoped to, at some point, see if it would let me have one since I had not eaten since I left home.

By now Bastardly was leading me back outside and into his quad-rolling transport. It was that time on the Blue Planet, when the star that lights the planet was on the far side of this world; so most of the bipedals were probably in their dwellings, resting. Some of the more stupid and dangerous creatures did not mind the dark and so this is how it was with Bastardly. He drove behind a large building that Bastardly called a "bank." He wanted me to help him get inside but it was closed up tight. I was growing bored now so I secreted fomboorg and made a hole in the side of the building. Suddenly a loud sound and flashing lights began coming from the inside of the hole! Bastardly ran inside and seemed to want me to use fomboorg to open a large metallic door. I did--just to be nice. He quickly grabbed some bags and then he began running back to his quad-rolling transport with me right behind him.

By the time we got outside, two of those infuriating aliens wearing blue clothing, with a variety of strange paraphernalia attached, were in pursuit of us in their own quad-rolling transport! Remembering how angry Sergeant Splatcher of the Logoseck Division was after I used fomboorg one too many times, I decided to use my trusty Sanclop-Ray to send the threatening beings backward in time by several limosplotches. Bastardly was overjoyed! He drove us back to his dwelling where he gave me some of the green paper he took from the building. Then he gave me some of his brain cell damaging beverages. I ingested several minoblactars of these drinks, and found it to reduce my cognitive powers. Eventually I excused myself to use the aquatic-bodily-excretion unit. I decided at this point I had had enough so I returned to my ship and left the Blue Planet.

Bastardly may be the most intelligent bipedal I have met so far. I hope he likes his green paper rectangles. I still see little overall intelligence on the Blue Planet. I can only hope that will change if I return in the future.

Past Unglip links,
http://cutris.blogspot.com/2009/05/return-of-unglip.html

http://cutris.blogspot.com/2007/04/origins-of-unglip.html

http://cutris.blogspot.com/2005/08/interstellar-traveler-unglip-reporting.html

http://cutris.blogspot.com/2006/04/interstellar-traveler-unglip-reports.html

http://cutris.blogspot.com/2007/04/unglip-rides-again.html

Click HERE to see Bastardly's version of this story.