During my father-in-law's recent funeral, I watched as my wife handed a $1,500 donation to the "important men." We were thanked, as this was a donation equivalent to giving a cow--and this was a Hmong funeral where several cows are used to both feed the crowd at the 3-day event; as well as payment for those helping. Monetary donations are supposed to be recorded in a ledger, because sometimes money "disappears." Our donation was never recorded, and the money is unaccounted for. Some members of the family have told us not to say anything, so not to "start trouble." It's all about "saving face." However, none of them are worried about us saving face--as it appears we did not contribute to the very expensive, complicated and long funeral. So I guess I should just keep quiet...
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