Adrian Peterson Plea Deal

Details of the Adrian Peterson plea deal were revealed yesterday and the penalties are stiff! Adrian will avoid any jail time, but he will have to pay a $4000 fine! Since he has been paid $700,000 per week while not even having to play football, the fine is like if a "normal" person was fined 4 cents. Second, Peterson must perform 80 hours of community service! This horrible experience will likely include smiling, holding a football, and maybe even signing some autographs and maybe talking to some kids. It is really too awful to think about. Why not just send him to the chain gang? For his part, Adrian said he accepts responsibility and he loves his son—who he beat with a stick until he bled. Adrian also said that he loves the two more children (that he fathered) who were born during the court proceedings from three different mothers. One of them, according to inside sources, is a high class stripper in Houston. Both the NFL and the Minnesota Vikings are no doubt, eager to get Adrian Peterson back on the football field. The challenge for them, will be to make it look like they care about what is right—and so they may need to come up with equally grueling penalties for the star running back; such as making him pay a fine of a couple thousand (i.e. 2 cents equivalent for normal people) dollars and making him drink "regular" flavored Gatorade for at least three games. Likely Adrian will accept these severe penalties and continue to collect his normal salary—which is larger than the gross national product for 379 countries. Hopefully this will finally satisfy the blood-thirsty public which will hopefully satisfy the advertisers—so that they will continue to pump money into the National Football league. In the end, hasn't Adrian suffered enough?