UnAssociated Press
September 12, 2013
Undocumented sources reported today that CuTRis has discovered a large supply of Weapons-grade acorns. At least one source said this is proof that we should "bomb the hell out of" numerous foreign countries. When asked where he found the acorns, CuTRis responded that they were "beneath a large tree."
We should definitely kill all those furry grey terrorists that are stockpiling acorns. We should also bomb all trees to eliminate their production capabilities.
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