Free Negative Political Ad

Since those negative political ads seem so popular, I've written a generic one for use by any politician who needs it.

(insert opposition candidate's name) is such a bum! One night, I saw him walking his dog in my yard and (insert opposition candidate's name) took a dump on my lawn! Then his dog didn't even clean it up!

Then I found out from my friend's bookie, that (insert opposition candidate's name) likes to eat live ponies for lunch!

(insert opposition candidate's name) is just wrong for (insert jurisdiction of office candidates are running for)!