Wall Street Bastardos Story

In the city of Cutris in the land of Cutris, there was a place called, The Castle of Cutris. The castle was very beautiful, and the King of Cutris Land lived there. One day after the greedy Bastardos of Wall Street ruined the economy, the government bailed out their debts and then the Wall Streeters stuck-it-to the people of the land of Cutris—including the King. Thus, the castle’s mortgage was now upside-down—and King Cutris owed more than the castle was worth (which had been $32 bazillion previously, and was now 89 cents).

Then one day King Cutris received an email from Mafutoo Bam Ba Lam of Nigeria. The email said that Mr. Bam Ba Lam had $76 Trillion that he could share with his good friend King Cutris, with whom he had never met. The poorly written email asked that Cutris not tell anyone about this wonderful deal—and to hurry and send his full name, address, phone number, Social Security number, bank account number and underwear size—so that Dr. Bam Ba Lam (yes, Mr. Bam Ba Lam had become a Dr. since the beginning of the email) could get the money out of his country and then split it with King Cutris.

King Cutris thought hard about this wonderful proposition! Then, he replied to Mr. Dr. Mafutoo Bam Ba Lam to go and put dynamite in his shorts and light the fuse. Then the King of the land of Cutris went to work to earn money to pay for his mortgage to the Wall Street Bastardos who made money by mismanaging funds and were then bailed out by the government.