A Short Cutris Spy Story

Cutris strolled into the room as if he owned 47.2% of it. His presence carried an air of authority. Though he was only 5'8-and-3/4" tall, to everyone present he looked to be at least 5'9" or 5'10". The event appeared like a typical cocktail party, except everyone was wearing sunglasses. Immediately, Cutris removed his own sunglasses to throw everyone else off guard.

No one in the room seemed to notice that he was dressed in the armor of a Teutonic Knight. That too was to throw them off. As he clanked across the room, Cutris noticed her. "That's the spy who loved me," he thought. She shouldn't be here. After all, he was married, and that meant something to him. Yes indeed, it meant something.

He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter and attempted to sit down on the couch. His armor didn't cooperate, and after several minutes he decided to stand. It didn't help that he had to pee from drinking the champagne, and he decided to leave his armor in the restroom.

Back at the party dressed in an inconspicuous black shirt with a Bugs Bunny tie, Cutris sat down and was immediately joined by "the spy who loved me."
"Are you avoiding me?" she asked.
"Do I know you?" Cutris replied.
"No," she answered.
"That's what I thought," he responded.

At that very moment, two men entered through the far window. One was disguised as a woman, the other as a French Poodle.
"I need to go," Cutris told "the spy who loved me."

With that, Cutris got up, and walked nonchalantly, backwards, toward the newcomers. He accidentally tripped over the waiter, upsetting the tray of champagne glasses. Despite the shower of champagne and broken glasses, his tactic was nearly flawless and only drew the attention of 3/4 of the people in the room. Pulling himself carefully off of the floor, he pretended that he had recovered a pencil that was dropped -a pencil that he carried for just such an emergency. Inside that very pencil, was a transponder. Cutris carefully clicked it on and handed the pencil to the man who was disguised as a woman.

"Here," Cutris said, "your poodle must have dropped this."
"Thank you," the woman answered.
With the transponder now planted on the woman, Cutris had only to make his exit. He slipped into the bedroom and pulled the spare chainsaw out of his shorts. Quietly, he cut a hole through the wall. When he was finished, he remembered his armor and went back to the bathroom to find it.

Just his luck, he had to wait in line for the restroom before he could recover his armor. Not wanting to take the time to put it on, he tucked it into his pants pocket and returned to the bedroom. Noticing that someone else had also cut an escape hole through the wall, Cutris quickly exited and skipped away into the night.