If you are now "the man" of your family because you are married and have kids, don't try to pretend the bad message and bad feelings you bring aren't from you. You chose to hold onto those things.
If your family has held onto customs for over 1,000 years but they are wrong, don't pretend that you have to keep doing the same thing yourself. You can change the system if you are strong, or keep doing the same things if you are a coward.
Don't blame your problems on your ancestors (or someone else's ancestors) because someone in your family was a slave over a century ago. Read your history. There have been slaves throughout the sordid history of mankind. If you are free, why do you choose to hold onto that unfortunate past?
If your parents mistreated you, I'm sorry about that. But if you are an adult, pull yourself up and make the best of your life. Also make darn sure you don't mistreat your own children.
Perceptions change over the years, and sometimes they should.
I work in a public school atmosphere. The kids are sometimes rude, but we recognize that they are still learning how to act. Some will "get it," and some won't.
When I was a student at Richfield Public Schools many years ago, the staff hit the students. This was allowed and sanctioned within the culture of the school system. If a student hit back, he was suspended. From my vantage point of today, the staff of that school system, in that era, knew nothing about how to handle children. They were clueless. Yet back in the 1970's, that's how it was.
If we can recognize the wrongs of the past, learn from them and leave them in the past, the world will be a better place for all of us.
KJC
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