Cutris uses giant tennis racket to save Earth

Cutris uses giant tennis racket to save Earth
November 18, 2007
UnAssociated Press

Preliminary information from NASA, the American Meteorological Society, and NORAD, indicates that Cutris has saved the Earth for the second time this year. Apparently a giant meteorite was headed directly at the Earth on Saturday. Scientists had seen the meteorite coming, but the Bush/Cheney administration insisted that the meteorite did not exist.

Cutris happened to learn of the danger when he was bird watching in the river bottoms and noticed a huge fireball coming at him through his binoculars. At first he thought it was a smudge, or maybe a bug crawled on the lens, but then he realized it was a meteorite.

A customer of Tennis Champion, insists that he saw Cutris in the store about 4:31 PM on Saturday, and he purchased a Mongo Slapper 5000 tennis racket. He says that Cutris walked out into the parking lot, tested the wind with a finger, and then swung a spectacular backhand, just as a gigantic meteorite came screaming down at the Earth.

Long story short, Cutris batted the meteorite at the Sun, just two seconds before impact. The same customer of Tennis Champion reported that Cutris returned to the store and returned the tennis racket. "He used a VISA card," the man said.