Brittney Spears tries to be like CUTRIS

Brittney Spears tries to be like CUTRIS
February 21, 2007
UnAssociated Press

While numerous “talking heads” are trying to figure out what happened to Brittney Spears, inside sources report that her bizarre behavior stems from her jealous desire to be like Cutris.

Several years ago, Brittney came into possession of a cassette tape of EFS (Electric Frog Syrup Band) music, which came from Cutris’ (AKA Kevin J. Curtis) band. The tape came from drummer Pete, who gave it to some guy named Jeff, who gave it to several more people until it ended up with Brittney Spears.

Brittney heard the tape, which was described as being a “crappy boom-box recording,” and she found herself longing to play/sing real music. When she found out who Cutris was, she soon began imitating him. This jealous rivalry peaked lately, when she decided to cut her hair off so that she could look more like Cutris.

“The kids in detention at the school where he works call him ‘The Bald Eagle.’ That’s so cool!!!” said Brittney in an interview done by People Magazine.

Cutris, who is currently running for President of the USA in 2008, said that he was “unaware of Brittney’s obsession.” He did comment, however, that he looks much better than she does with a shaved head. Most of America seems to agree, as Brittney is losing popularity, while Cutris is continuing to gain more supporters in his presidential bid.