MAN OFFENDED BY THE SUN

Man Offended by Sun
UnAssociated Press
Land of the Easily Offended, USA
November 21, 2006

A man was offended by the sun today, and said that he was humiliated by the fact that the sun was shining on him in a threatening way, without the man's permission. 14,563 lawyers are trying to persuade the man to choose them for his attorney, since this could become a major discrimination/harassment suit with long-term implications and possible multiple book deals.

Several liberal groups turned out at a press conference this afternoon, to help shout, “Down with the sun!” When it was announced that the sun would set at 4:39PM, people cheered and then began to shoot guns into the air.

Later, two people died from wounds they received from bullets falling from the sky. Some other people said that the sky had discriminated against the two because the sky is an infidel. The mob blamed this on the United States and began to chant “Death to America!” Then they began to burn American flags and throw rocks.

The moon is expected to offend several religious groups after dark this evening.