Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reports... again

April 11, 2006
Cycle 1, Blue Planet
Interstellar Traveler, Unglip Reporting

Once again, I have returned to the Blue Planet in search of any remoflactions of Intelligent Life. My last two visits were inconclusive, though most of my observations lead me to believe that there are no higher forms of intelligence here.

I disguised myself in the synthetic/plant material coverings that the dominant species use to cover themselves with. My plan was to once again, move about the communal living spaces where the bipedal beings tend to congregate. They were, of course, still utilizing the two-way radio devices that are frequently seen being held close to their auditory canals. They were also still traveling in quad-rolling transports.

I’ve noticed that procreation seems to be handled by two very different members of the same species –much like the Pilmorai of Vindis 8. Unlike the Pilmorai though, the close connection between the sexes is not always harmonious. The two divisions seem bent on disagreeing with one another. The disagreements can stem from many things, such as what frequency to tune in their video screens, to what kind of food to feed to their offspring.

While one of these two variations is usually physically dominant, the smaller variety is clearly in charge. While the larger one is frequently responsible for piloting the quad-rolling transport and shortening the field of thin leaved plants, the smaller one is often in charge of when and how it gets done. The larger of these primitive bipedal creatures, often compensates by becoming deaf to the particular tone or frequency of its mate’s oral noises. This tends to infuriate the other.

One particular contentious issue seems to be whether the sitting device is up or down on the aquatic-bodily-excretion unit. I found this out while attending a gathering of these beings. One poor individual was taking quite an auditory beating from his mate about that very subject. He gained solace by staying with his own kind, and remarking about the size of his mate’s hindquarters. It was difficult to imagine that they inhabited the same dwelling, yet they left arm-in-arm after the brain cell damaging beverages were all consumed. Perhaps it is the abundance of these beverages that makes these beings so low in intelligence.

Trying to fit in, I ingested several minoblactars of these drinks, and found it to reduce my cognitive powers by quite a bit. I decided to leave the gathering, before I blew my cover. It was difficult to maneuver in a straight line down the travel path, and soon I drew the attention of two of those infuriating blue covered aliens in the noisy quad-rolling transport with flashing lights. They attacked me when I tried to flee, and I was once again, forced to secrete fomboorg on their weapons to melt them. I made my escape while the two aliens stared dumbfounded at their melted torture devices.

My findings still indicate that the Blue Planet has no real intelligent life on it. I hold little hope that this will change.

http://cutris.blogspot.com/2005/08/interstellar-traveler-unglip-reporting.html