I am CuTRis

Russia has New Pants Missile UnAssociated Press March 31,2018 Vladimir Putin has announced that Russia has a new super stealth pants missile. This Insidious new weapon, can sneak up behind anyone in the world, and drop their pants! Furthermore, Putin says there is no defense against this weapon.

Opening for several high-level jobs in Washington DC. Employment duration is temporary. You must be ready to be asked to leave at any time. Experience should include evading direct questions and lying to protect top leadership. Qualified candidates can start immediately. Please apply at Whitehouse.gov

"Excuse me, do you know where the mop room is?"

If your idea is good I'll know it. But just because your job title has "director" in it, that doesn't mean your ideas are good.

There's only one way to settle this... Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden in a no-holds-barred fist fight behind the gym this Saturday at (High) Noon (1:00 PM Eastern)! STATS: Donald Trump: Age: 71,  Height: 6'2",  Weight: 198 lbs. Joe Biden:        Age: 75,  Height: 6',      Weight: 181 lbs.

When I was a child, I loved going to the Como Zoo and Conservatory . My parents took me and my brother there with some frequency. Now, I can only smile when I see my son enjoying this place as much as I did. Many things are the same, but much is better—like the accommodations of the resident animals. On a sunny winter day, there is also nothing better than a walk through the conservatory.

CuTRis Recommends Ocean Salt UnAssociated Press March 16, 2018 Today CuTRis came out of the woodwork to announce his recommendation that people stop using Sea Salt in their diets and switch to Ocean Salt. CuTRis told news sources that Ocean Salt comes from "a bigger place" than Sea Salt. So it is probably better.

Years ago when I worked at the public library, I checked out every book and audio book available that was written by Stephen Hawking . I especially liked the audio books that were narrated by this man's computerized voice synthesizer. It was much better, in my opinion, than when one of his graduate student's read it. While I did not understand everything that Hawking was talking about, I did understand a lot of it. I even wondered why High School Physic s had been so boring when Hawking made Physics so fascinating for me! Most impressive was his ability to create a theory and then immediately setout to discount it—and by doing so either validate it or prove it wrong. Also impressive was his ability to allow God to occupy the same Universe while other scientists may have difficulty accepting that coexistence. His contributions to physics, science, philosophy and theory are truly monumental—as was how he coped with his disease and the longevity and quality of his life in sp...

CuTRis Selects Art Show Winner! UnAssociated Press March 14, 2018 At a prestigious local art show yesterday, CuTRis was asked to select the overall winner of the show. Unfortunately, the sponsors of the art show did not realize that CuTRis' taste in art is... a bit... "unorthodox." As a result, the maker's of Sani Wipes have gladly accepted the honor of "best in show" for their packaging of Sani Wipes disposable cleaning wipes.

With all the snow we've had recently and the warmer daytime temperatures there has been a lot of melting going on. Just this morning, in the dark, when the temperatures were back below freezing, I was on dry roads until I reached the highway ramp and found that it was covered in ice! My car started sliding sideways because of the angle of the ramp and it was quite an unnerving feeling because of the speed in which one is going in order to merge into the traffic on the highway. Thankfully the sliding was only perhaps for a second before my tires slid onto dry pavement again. Had traffic been heavier or if I had been driving faster, things might have been much worse.

Paris Jackson Paris Jackson Claims People Are Changing her Skin Tone in Pictures UnAssociated Press March 9, 2018 Paris Jackson is asking people to stop editing her skin tone in pictures.  So anyone who is doing this should stop.

CuTRis Takes Job at White House and Resigns 12 Seconds Later UnAssociated Press March 8, 2018 White House sources confirmed today, that CuTRis held the job of White House Communications Director for exactly 12 seconds from 1:45:17PM to 1:45:29 (ET) on March 7, 2018. Citing irreconcilable stupidity, CuTRis said the 12 seconds he was employed at the White House was horrible and his resignation was a long time coming. CuTRis now joins a growing list of former White House staffers who have departed rather than work for the Trump administration.

Last evening me and my son were eating homemade soup (that I made) and a Subway sandwich. Son says, "I really like this soup dad." Dad replies, "I'm glad. Mom didn't even try it." Son says, "I keep telling mom to try more different kinds of food!"

CuTRis Big Winner at the Oscars UnAssociated Press March 5, 2018 Simply by not watching the Oscars , CuTRis came out as the big winner last evening! The fact that he did not waste his time watching yet another Hollywood awards show, meant that he did not waste those minutes and hours of his life that he would never get back.

Trying to make a point, someone recently said that if guns kill, then spoons make people fat. That's hilarious. What else if funny is that the USA has more civilian owned guns than any other country (also per capita), it leads the world in mass shootings, it also leads other high-income countries in gun homicides, and half of its citizens still care more about their guns than children being shot to death in their schools. How US gun culture compares with the world in five charts

Is Trump the most embarrassing, least sensitive, biggest bulls-shitter to ever be President of the USA? Probably yes... No, Mr. President, I don't believe you would have run into that school unarmed. https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/26/politics/trump-florida-school-without-a-weapon/index.html

It seems that no amount of slain children will be sufficient to change the gun laws in the USA. The reports are that the gunman in the Florida high school bought his guns legally-even though the people who knew him say he acted aggressively and was anti-social. That reminds me of the legal gun owner who chased my car into a police department parking lot while brandishing a Glock 9mm with an extended clip and out-of-state permit. He was picked up by police and released back into the world because he told police that he didn't pull out the gun I accurately described. He's also legally on Facebook preaching his right-wing version of "patriotism" and hatred of people he believes to be less American than he is. After all, he told police that I was a "rag head" from Pakistan. No people, nothing needs to change. At least you have your guns. Never-mind some more slaughtered children.

I got a flu shot. My whole family got flu shots. But since the shot was not very effective, my son and I both got the flu anyway. That was very scary especially with my son's fever. And I have heard many people brag about not getting the flu shot... ever. And to me, that is so dumb. Because for everyone who does not get the flu shot, that opens up a hole in the fabric of society that allows the flu to get in. So, you might as well brag about being dumb and irresponsible.