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Getting High at Work

New England Hit by Winter Storm

I understand that there is a winter storm in New England right now. About 12 years ago, someone told me the winters in New England were quite mild. Apparently that is just not true. If you live on the east coast, however, never fear! The New England Patriots have been called in to deflate the storm! Help is on the way! I have to go outside now. It's been so nice out here in the Midwest lately.

Spring Cougar Scent

Now in new Spring Cougar Scent!

Washed-Up Rockstar Anti-Energy Drink

If you've heard of or use Rockstar Energy Drinks , you might be interested to know that they now have a new product called, Washed-Up Rockstar Anti-Energy Drink ! Now, if you are too energetic , you can enjoy this sensational new drink! Made with all-natural Tap water , cheap whiskey and quaaludes , this drink will knock you out for hours!

New England's Balls Under-Inflated!

Let's face it. Ball deflation is a serious (and sometimes embarrassing) topic! When I heard that the New England Patriots won their championship game with under-inflated balls I was astounded! "Were all of their balls under-inflated?" I asked. "11 out of 12" I was told. Hmmmm... There are 11 men on the field from each team; so that means only one of them had properly inflated balls? And they still won the game? While I was thinking about my own balls and how upset I would be if one of them deflated, I began to marvel that the Patriots had won the game so decisively! I mean if someone was going to cheat, I would think poorly inflated balls would be a difficult thing to pull off! Would you have some reverse-inflation gadget in the protective cup? Now I could see if it was the Patriots who were trying to deflate the balls of the Indianapolis Colts , because after living briefly in New England I developed the impression that the Mafia was involved in al...

State of the Union: Condensed Version

Biden got the joke; why didn't Boehner? Here is the condensed version of last night's State of the Union Speech given by President Barack Obama . "Things aren't perfect, but they are a lot better—and we're headed in the right direction. Tax the wealthiest 1% yada yada, blazay blazay." The short version of the Republican Response is, Things aren't better and we're headed in the wrong direction. We will undo everything that the Obama administration has done yada yada, nebuchadnezzar, over and out."

Black Lives Matter?

Yesterday as I watched a news feed about Black Lives Matter marching in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day , I wondered if Dr. King would approve of them blocking the light rail system ? I also found it ironic that since the police were the focus of their protest, that the police were keeping the protesters off of Interstate 94—which had they gotten on the freeway (like they have before ), could have resulted in a lethal and tragic situation. Then I formed a question in my mind. Do black lives really matter to this group? What I mean is, I could show numerous black on black deadly violence incidents that have occurred—yet the only ones that seem to matter to Black Lives Matter are the proportionally smaller number that have occurred when police have used deadly force. My question: If there are two black lives and one black life shoots and kills the other one, does this matter? Does the loss of life only matter when it is during a struggle with police or does it matter even if the...

Showering Daily: A White People Thing?

Did you hear about this "big scandal" when someone named Naya Rivera said that showering daily is such a white people thing? I guess a lot of people were pretty upset about it and I'm not sure if I should have been! I mean, white people only have the opportunity to get upset (publicly) about openly anti-white remarks (see: racism) about once every 57 years—so did I miss my one and only chance??? But I wasn't offended. I don't think there is anything wrong with showering daily. Or was it the people who (supposedly) don't shower a lot who are mad? Because I have known some white people that really could up the frequency of their showering a few ticks... This is really confusing! I'm not feeling upset but from what I understand, an awful lot of people were/are! Who are they? Do they shower or not? And what about this Naya Rivera person? Is she kind of stinky? How did this whole thing come up anyway? Oh yeah... The View . So do they ever talk about any...

Your Bank Might Be Lying

Your bank might be lying to you. My bank (TCF) was lying to me for years! I have two accounts. One is a checking account and used for paying for things. The other is a savings account used for saving money. For years, numerous bank employees have told me the "best" place for my savings was in a checking account —even though I was not using the checking features. Recently, precipitated by a letter that told of impending reductions in services—unless I paid additional fee s, I found one woman from TCF (customer service via phone) who told me different. She actually tried to find what was best for me and not TCF. So with her recommendations, I went to my local branch to change my accounts. I was met with some serious opposition! The people there did not want to change my accounts and tried to come up with numerous reasons that I should not. None of the reasons actually pertained to my personal situation or needs. I persisted and made the changes. The first monthly stateme...

If Your Kid's Sick Keep Him Home.

My wife and I have missed work, lost sleep, paid co-pays and worst of all, my son has been seriously ill and needed to go to the ER. This will be the sixth time this has happened and it always starts with the same people who don't want to take off work themselves and so bring their sick kids to daycare. If your kid is sick, stay home with him.