Happy Holidays!

Minnesota Vikings Regain Fumbling Abilities

Minnesota Vikings Regain Fumbling Abilities
UnAssociated Press
December 19, 2016

The Minnesota Vikings football team has regained its missing fumbling game with the return of Adrian Peterson. While numerous announcers have commented that the running back has such a strong grip that it "hurts" to shake hands with him, he still cannot hold onto the football very well. The much anticipated return after an early season injury, has reestablished the Vikings fumbling abilities and should greatly improve their downward spiral that began just after the bye week.

Minnesota Gophers End Football Boycott

Minnesota Gophers End Football Boycott
UnAssociated Press
December 19, 2016

The Minnesota Gopher Football team has decided to end their boycott of playing in a bowl game; once someone explained to them that they would not actually get to play (in the Holiday Bowl on December 27) unless they did. The team stands by their teammates who have been accused and cleared and then suspended for allegedly sexually assaulting a drunk girl. Rah rah go team!

Jingle Bells Batman Smells...

The Holidays bring out the best in people! Like at my house…

My Son: Dad, sing that Jingle Bells song again!
Me: Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way…
My Son: No! Not that one. The other one about Batman!
Me: Jingle Bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg, the Batmobile lost its wheel and Joker got away! Hey!
My Son: I like that song!
Me: Me too.

New Job for the New Year

Where Santa Eats!

 
"I'm in a hurry, we'll just do takeout!"

Free-Range Chicken

This kind of chicken has a pointed, narrow breastbone; so is best cooked on its side. I turn it halfway through cooking.

It is said that a Shaolin Priest can walk through walls...

But I can't.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnGPNS6waiI