Cutris Defuses Balm

A small balm, possibly a Chapstick, was found on a local street today. Police were called to investigate the balm, and citizens in the area were evacuated for their own protection in case the balm might explode.

The bomb squad was dispatched, but upon arrival refused to defuse the balm, because it wasn’t a bomb. Several seconds passed, before local citizen, Cutris arrived on the scene. After pulling a tissue from his pocket, he picked up the balm and deposited it into a nearby trash receptacle, thus saving the day.

Cutris was unavailable for comment, as he was heading home to do some baking.

Bush/State of the Union open letter

January 24, 2007

President George W. Bush,

I listened to your State of the Union Speech last evening. Some of it was what we were waiting for, like alternative energy. Some of it was misinformation, like Iraq. In the end, I regret to tell you that I don’t believe you.

Sincerely,

Kevin J. Curtis

What’s Wrong with this “Picture?”

Today the CEO’s of several major U.S. corporations asked President Bush to implement tougher standards to limit the production of greenhouse gases that may be causing global warming.

The President has refused saying voluntary limits are the way to go.

What is wrong when the president refuses to help when corporations want to stop pollution???

Presidential Exploratory Committee

Presidential Exploratory Committee
January 19, 2007
UnAssociated Press

Cutris announced today, that he is forming a presidential campaign exploratory committee.

It will be called the, Cutris should be President because regular politicians are making stupid decisions that really suck and are making it hard for the average person to get by in our society and it’s time for a major change like putting Cutris in the White House, committee.

President Bush Speech to Escalate Iraq War

Last evening, as did a huge number of other people, I watched as George W. Bush made the case to add approximately 22,000 more American soldiers in Iraq. The speech came sometime after the evening news, where the top story (in the Twin Cities) had been about yet another Minnesota soldier who had just died in Iraq.


When the President came on and laid out “his plan,” I began to wonder why he thought he could go against what seems to be a huge majority of U.S. citizens, who want to bring American troops home and get our military out of Iraq? In a “democratic” country, shouldn’t the people have the last word? Does this make our President a president, or a dictator? Does this mean that our leader is no better than the one who was overthrown in Iraq? These are all questions that flew through my mind, as I also wondered if the President had heard of another military conflict called, The Vietnam War.


Have you ever known someone who tried to fix something, and the more they tried, the more it got screwed up? Iraq will have a civil war. Do we really want American troops living in tiny bases in the middle of it? When is enough, enough?
Do you remember when George W. Bush told us about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Do you remember when he stood on the deck of the U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln (aircraft carrier) and told us, “mission accomplished?” Should we believe him now?

Global Warming

I have put a link to Will Steger’s Global Warming 101 on my links list to the right.
http://www.globalwarming101.com/
Global Warming is some pretty scary stuff. Personally, I like to think of environmental issues, such as recycling and conservation, as self-serving things. Perhaps we should all think of it that way. It is, after all, the only planet that I am aware of, that we can live on. We ought to take care of it.

White Guy Brand White Rice Commercial

For my friend who I tease about this...

White Guy Brand White Rice (commercial)

Camera follows Cutris walking and talking…

“When I was a kid, my mom made rice every day for breakfast. There’s nothing more satisfying than a ball of sticky-rice in the morning.”

Cutris stops, camera zooms slowly in, to medium close-up…

“When I went to school, the other kids would be eating their peanut butter & jelly sandwiches at lunchtime, but I would have my white rice, that I carried in a bamboo tube around my neck.”

Graphic of logo comes into view as Cutris continues…

“I learned to make good rice over all those years, and now I want you to be able to enjoy it as much as I do. That’s why you should look for White Guy Brand White Rice at your grocery store.”

Camera widens slowly…

“Because nobody knows rice like a white guy.”

Commercial fades out…

When Gummie Bears Go Bad

I saw a Gummie Bear™ on the floor at the school today.
It was filthy. It lay there, full of dust and dirt and looking like it had been in a fight.
Maybe it had! Gummie Bears have sometimes been known to attack!
Sure they look innocent… but if you saw the one that I saw today, it would send a chill down your spine.
I left it alone, and hurried down the hall away from it… to safety.
I wasn’t going to take any chances.

Confucious at Church